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Transcript

00:00:02:22 – 00:00:20:10
Elliott Wald
Hello. My name is Elliot Wald addictions specialist. And welcome to Coming Clean with me. And in the studio today is my guest, Shane Sammler, also known as Cocaine Shane, how are you doing, Shane?

00:00:20:11 – 00:00:21:21
Shane Samler
Yeah, good to meet you.

00:00:21:23 – 00:00:33:20
Elliott Wald
And you, Shane. So this is all about getting to understand your addiction, the journey, the path it took you on, and the roads that it took you down. You know, some of the bad things, some of the good things and what’s come out of it. So tell me how your story began.

00:00:33:20 – 00:00:56:24
Shane Samler
Shane Well, I started using cocaine roughly 16. I tried it when I was 15, but then started using it regularly, 6 to 8, and then it got heavy and heavier, took me to some terrible places, stealing just whatever I could do to get money. And then I started a successful scaffold company at 26 and then also went off the rails a lot more use.

00:00:56:24 – 00:01:14:23
Shane Samler
It got really heavy. A-type ended up with no sleep. Wow, it’s got a lot worse. And I found out I had M.S. when I was 23 and that my using took off heavy debt as well, even before I started the scaffold company. Well, think back. It was just not good, to be fair, for a long time.

00:01:15:00 – 00:01:20:21
Elliott Wald
Okay, let’s put let’s pick up on a few of those points. So when you started, 16 was a social thing. Were you going out doing it with friends?

00:01:20:24 – 00:01:28:12
Shane Samler
Yeah, Yeah, it was just a social thing. 616, 17 Now started selling it. I can’t remember what age about seven.

00:01:28:12 – 00:01:31:00
Elliott Wald
Eight was that to pay for your own usage now.

00:01:31:02 – 00:01:31:20
Shane Samler
To make money.

00:01:31:22 – 00:01:33:00
Elliott Wald
you just went on Monday night.

00:01:33:00 – 00:01:33:15
Shane Samler
Money. Yeah.

00:01:33:20 – 00:01:35:16
Elliott Wald
You never made money because you used it. Yeah.

00:01:35:16 – 00:01:49:16
Shane Samler
I might use it. Become 40 Saturday. It was always Friday every week because then it become Friday Saturday like you sign about the birds coming out through the sun. It was horrible. And then once in the week, every time I picked it up in the week, I would have to try it.

00:01:49:17 – 00:01:55:21
Elliott Wald
So it was So it was a three day week. Yeah. So you’d pick up your stash to get rid of. Yeah. And you’d do a little test in the.

00:01:55:21 – 00:01:57:00
Shane Samler
Week every time.

00:01:57:02 – 00:02:04:11
Elliott Wald
Every single time and then a weekend as well. So three times a week. Yeah. And what sort of quantity was it back then at that point for.

00:02:04:12 – 00:02:08:13
Shane Samler
It went on the Wednesday I would do quarter.

00:02:08:17 – 00:02:10:03
Elliott Wald
Wow. You jump straight.

00:02:10:07 – 00:02:20:23
Shane Samler
In because then I would just stay awake and then go to work on the first day with no sleep. And then on the Friday it would be Friday night or not until Saturday.

00:02:20:24 – 00:02:22:13
Elliott Wald
How much would you use on a Friday.

00:02:22:15 – 00:02:34:00
Shane Samler
After 9:00, are you. Because I wasn’t always that. And you weren’t very good gear, right? I was probably use it and give you do I announce a week I’ve got loads of debt back then.

00:02:34:02 – 00:02:35:00
Elliott Wald
Don’t.

00:02:35:02 – 00:02:51:09
Shane Samler
Because the debt you’re not only for I was good I’ll do for I was the big I am and it was just block took me to some terrible place that I got and thousands of pounds worth of debt back then. Then my family had to bail me out of my mum especially. Right. And it just weren’t good. Yeah, it wasn’t good.

00:02:51:09 – 00:03:00:22
Elliott Wald
And reading your story and looking through my research notes, I see that you were really keen on football at school. Yeah. You’re a football fanatic, weren’t you?

00:03:00:23 – 00:03:09:21
Shane Samler
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was good football up until I was four. Wayne. Before I moved out, my first goal got kicked out. Me first goal went to me second.

00:03:09:21 – 00:03:11:04
Elliott Wald
Why did you get kicked out? The first goal?

00:03:11:04 – 00:03:23:23
Shane Samler
Just because I fell over loud lads, and it was good for me to be there. Like, I mean, I rolled out in May. We was just. BLOCK Cat, Dog and your best mates, you have one of them now. So let’s just.

00:03:24:00 – 00:03:25:04
Elliott Wald
So you went to a different school?

00:03:25:04 – 00:03:30:15
Shane Samler
Yeah. Got kicked out in about, in school at Fort Wayne. I was playing for Essex for that at Colchester.

00:03:30:19 – 00:03:32:02
Elliott Wald
you were playing good. You deliver.

00:03:32:02 – 00:03:43:18
Shane Samler
Good luck. A really good footballer and then I’ll move scope. Let’s get in with a couple kids Every now know from football I’ll start smoking weed. Hated smoking before that. Right. So that that started.

00:03:43:20 – 00:03:45:15
Elliott Wald
Were you using coke with them as well.

00:03:45:15 – 00:03:50:16
Shane Samler
Yeah not not a lot of 1415. I tried it always hanging around with the older boys.

00:03:50:16 – 00:03:50:24
Elliott Wald
Yeah.

00:03:51:00 – 00:04:09:22
Shane Samler
So one of them Saudi and it was John every first John Avalon loves are coming remember me more mate you skull with Troy and I could just remember saying to my mate you was driving around, dropping off. You give me the Lord so fucking polite. I’m just let’s go for a run. Do not mind the failing it give me instantly.

00:04:09:22 – 00:04:12:00
Elliott Wald
Yeah was just.

00:04:12:02 – 00:04:16:08
Shane Samler
Jump me I’ll think that’s what the lad but that’s what I was always chasing.

00:04:16:10 – 00:04:27:14
Elliott Wald
That’s the interesting thing Shane. Right. You know, I say this all the time. Yeah. It’s the is the thoughts of what it once was that you’re always chasing. And unfortunately, as time progresses, you never get back that feeling. Do you.

00:04:27:16 – 00:04:46:08
Shane Samler
Now know. yeah. yeah. It was just fear of my use. It just becomes so often in the end life Before winning the Priory on to the Fort Wayne. It becomes daily lot I was doing and I half an eight to a night for die. Wow that was just when I could get the month.

00:04:46:11 – 00:04:49:24
Elliott Wald
How long, How long or what duration were you doing. A half a night to an eighth. The day.

00:04:50:01 – 00:04:51:08
Shane Samler
Last six years.

00:04:51:08 – 00:04:52:03
Elliott Wald
Six years.

00:04:52:04 – 00:05:03:10
Shane Samler
A mosque scaffold company was doing well. Like it’s been gone 11 years. My scaffold company was doing well, but then I stopped being a partner in that because I won’t do if I didn’t deserve to call myself.

00:05:03:12 – 00:05:18:15
Elliott Wald
Saying, let me understand this. Right. So you start the scaffolding business you’re using already, you’re using starts to escalate. Escalate, escalate? Yeah. You’re not turning up for work. You’re not in the business. You’re not working on the business. And what happened What happened with that business.

00:05:18:20 – 00:05:42:24
Shane Samler
Say, because always it’s a family member part is we have. Yeah, I just got paid whatever so I wouldn’t go to work. Now in the day, I’ll tell you what it was just culture came out of fitness instructor. I was on steroids. It got big and I’d never done a day’s work. Really, Or very rare. and then my old man, who I’m partners with about six years ago, said to me, crying, He’s kind of shy.

00:05:42:24 – 00:05:54:11
Shane Samler
Please fucking help me a little bit. Why called a lot before? So, I mean, so it was like if you don’t know what we today, we just call it quits. Didn’t get paid out because I was just getting paid for years.

00:05:54:11 – 00:06:09:02
Elliott Wald
So. So what happened was you dad started this business with you. He was invested in you. He was trying to help you. Yeah. By giving you a career. Yeah, but the coach just absolutely made you blind to the world. Yeah. Yeah. And so you reached a point where he just couldn’t deal with any more.

00:06:09:03 – 00:06:28:16
Shane Samler
Yeah, Yeah, because you. Because when we started this, he was meant to be a silent partner, okay? And because I had the contacts to get work, we were doing really well without a lot of money a month and that me and what when we first started it, the first week I had an M.S. relapse. So what we’re taught was bone.

00:06:28:17 – 00:06:36:24
Shane Samler
While we was in the hospital, we labor I must relapse or I’ll walk. Like most spate. It was like someone was turning your brain off because.

00:06:37:04 – 00:06:38:14
Elliott Wald
From the me.

00:06:38:16 – 00:06:46:00
Shane Samler
I’ll be talking about the Lord. Finish my sentence. So that was my first relapse 11 years ago.

00:06:46:02 – 00:06:58:20
Elliott Wald
Let’s just hang onto this just for for the listeners. Let’s just rewind a little bit because I know when we come in here we were having a coffee together. You said to a bit when you when you first got diagnosed with them as you kind of buried your head like an emu, you didn’t tell anyone, did you?

00:06:58:21 – 00:06:59:19
Shane Samler
Not now.

00:06:59:19 – 00:07:00:23
Elliott Wald
How old was this when you first got?

00:07:00:24 – 00:07:21:07
Shane Samler
I was 23 when I found out. I will find out is when I used to play football. I knew we have a pub team like, my. So used to. I’ll be playing where my heart rate would go up a lot. My eyesight stopped going. And when I think back when I used to be on it before then, when I’ll be on the ice, play Fortnite on the PlayStation, remember I’d always be good.

00:07:21:07 – 00:07:40:19
Shane Samler
I used to win money betting and then sold with money in the wake for the odd will get on it and then I’d lose it for me. I thought dope, but then it started happening when I was sober playing football. Okay. And then I went to the doctors and they sent me for a lumbar puncture, find that I’d mess up and all just buried more buried me.

00:07:40:19 – 00:07:43:09
Shane Samler
I’d lost reach, lost everything.

00:07:43:09 – 00:07:44:07
Elliott Wald
Even like an emu.

00:07:44:07 – 00:07:48:17
Shane Samler
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, ever I’ve had in my life. So how.

00:07:48:17 – 00:07:54:02
Elliott Wald
Long? How long from getting diagnosed with M.S. before you told anybody? Told your family?

00:07:54:04 – 00:07:55:08
Shane Samler
I’ll tell my family.

00:07:55:11 – 00:07:55:21
Elliott Wald
They told.

00:07:55:21 – 00:08:00:18
Shane Samler
You how? My family. Okay. But I didn’t tell any friends, anyone who knew me.

00:08:00:18 – 00:08:03:15
Elliott Wald
So all your close friends, you didn’t tell for how long?

00:08:03:16 – 00:08:05:01
Shane Samler
After six years.

00:08:05:04 – 00:08:10:15
Elliott Wald
And during that period of time from getting diagnosed with M.S., What happened to your usage of Coke?

00:08:10:17 – 00:08:12:05
Shane Samler
It got heavier, without a doubt.

00:08:12:10 – 00:08:13:07
Elliott Wald
In what way?

00:08:13:09 – 00:08:25:15
Shane Samler
Just used more lot of just blocked have been out a lot and to explain it all was just whatever was thrown at me, I would just bury my head. I wouldn’t take anything good.

00:08:25:16 – 00:08:26:13
Elliott Wald
Like an escape.

00:08:26:13 – 00:08:41:17
Shane Samler
Yeah, massively. Yeah, massively. And what cocaine was for me from when I had M.S. was it just quietened my it cause I don’t know about you, but my head’s like it comes up with anything for money. Money to do he needs to do in that is absolutely anything.

00:08:41:17 – 00:08:54:05
Elliott Wald
It’s an interest it’s an interesting you bring up because you know having been on podcasts with dapper and having had people like D.J Ross, you know, and DJ Pat Wilson and a lot of these people talk about ADHD and things like that. Have you been diagnosed with.

00:08:54:05 – 00:09:12:21
Shane Samler
That or had a test? When I was in the Priory and I just thought they’d done Suffer. There weren’t normal ADHD, but I’ve got a friend who’s I won’t mention names, but it was something they spoke to me. Shine I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, right? Is sounds like you’ve got that. Yeah.

00:09:12:23 – 00:09:32:08
Elliott Wald
So I tell you actually what comes across to me is I think there is a very common theme in people who have taken their usage to extremes, and I think they’re very impulsive people. I think you’re you’re pretty impulsive as well. Yeah. So you do things without thinking about the consequence of what would happen when you do it?

00:09:32:08 – 00:09:53:15
Shane Samler
Definitely like everything, though, even before I discovered company, I would do whatever on the spur of the moment. I wouldn’t worry about the consequences. That could be for a crime. Absolutely anything. I’ll do it. And people at Baylor have taught me you’re not worried about what can happen. I’m not. If something happens, I’ll worry you. I not. But that’s the story.

00:09:53:15 – 00:10:06:18
Shane Samler
My life a lot. Absolutely. Anything I would admit to much, but quite a lot of my life is like that. Just bury my head in the sand, not worry about it until. Till I’m cool. Then I’ve got to put my hands up.

00:10:06:20 – 00:10:09:01
Elliott Wald
So it was sort of crime. Did that tell you? Don’t.

00:10:09:03 – 00:10:13:03
Shane Samler
metal theft of my metal theft. Yes. Scafell.

00:10:13:05 – 00:10:15:03
Elliott Wald
cool. Yeah. Right.

00:10:15:05 – 00:10:15:22
Shane Samler
Lot.

00:10:15:24 – 00:10:17:22
Elliott Wald
Well, you steal your own material.

00:10:17:24 – 00:10:32:18
Shane Samler
Well, I started a lot, but before that I used to do it a lot of made a cup, few under in cash that lobs at the end after Mama bail me out with the first draft. That’s how I’ll pay for it. because.

00:10:32:18 – 00:10:33:00
Elliott Wald
You were in.

00:10:33:00 – 00:10:36:24
Shane Samler
Debt. Yeah, well, I’ll bail me out with the first lot. When I was about I.

00:10:37:01 – 00:10:37:10
Elliott Wald
Was up.

00:10:37:14 – 00:10:40:01
Shane Samler
About ten, 20 grand. Wow.

00:10:40:01 – 00:10:42:15
Elliott Wald
And then 18 years old, 20 grand.

00:10:42:21 – 00:11:00:17
Shane Samler
And then after that, or then she wouldn’t bail me out. The labor lost our house. So now I started styling like I’ve always done scaffolding all year, wrap up, always done there. And it’s fucking comes in handy then. I don’t know any scaffold owes, not done.

00:11:00:19 – 00:11:13:24
Elliott Wald
But you know what? If I think about how many scaffolds I’ve had his clients over 29 years, that has to be almost the number one career of usage. It’s just Absolutely.

00:11:14:01 – 00:11:15:21
Shane Samler
Yeah. Yes, it is.

00:11:15:21 – 00:11:21:06
Elliott Wald
But how many times did you try and stop before you finally manged to stop.

00:11:21:08 – 00:11:26:04
Shane Samler
A went into US sanctuary loaded house? It’s nine years ago.

00:11:26:04 – 00:11:27:22
Elliott Wald
This was off the how long of using how many.

00:11:27:22 – 00:11:39:23
Shane Samler
Years. so 99 years ago. from now I was 28. I went into sanctuary Lodge, in February, nine years ago. Okay, So state.

00:11:40:00 – 00:11:44:03
Elliott Wald
Before you go there. Yeah. What got you to the point to go to that place then?

00:11:44:03 – 00:11:56:08
Shane Samler
Cause of law said I was doing I lives with no sleep some summer. Mama, come in. But went to sleep. Oxide has two flat and cold stuff went back to me. Mum’s after a big bender. I think it was eight or nine days even.

00:11:56:11 – 00:11:57:01
Elliott Wald
No sleep.

00:11:57:02 – 00:12:01:09
Shane Samler
No, no sleep. And all I used to do was cocaine. So.

00:12:01:11 – 00:12:02:05
Elliott Wald
George Sniff.

00:12:02:05 – 00:12:10:20
Shane Samler
Yeah. no. Drank back then as well. Okay. There was always loads of people that lot in cults. The back end, the part I didn’t stopped, you know. I mean right.

00:12:10:22 – 00:12:13:00
Elliott Wald
So it was different people continually coming in.

00:12:13:00 – 00:12:14:10
Shane Samler
Now as the side people just.

00:12:14:10 – 00:12:15:13
Elliott Wald
I mean if.

00:12:15:15 – 00:12:26:05
Shane Samler
They were on meth. yeah. Yeah. So I never slept. A few of them got sleep off all day for five gin. I mean but I was the only one really. Do coke now.

00:12:26:05 – 00:12:27:09
Elliott Wald
Time for eight days.

00:12:27:09 – 00:12:35:04
Shane Samler
For eight days straight. It was horrendous. I used to drink Mars milkshakes just to get some calories as I’d pass out. I mean.

00:12:35:06 – 00:12:42:06
Elliott Wald
Mate, you are consciously making the decision to drink a high density shake. Yeah, to keep using. Yeah.

00:12:42:09 – 00:12:43:14
Shane Samler
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

00:12:43:17 – 00:12:44:10
Elliott Wald
That’s what you were doing.

00:12:44:10 – 00:12:54:16
Shane Samler
Yeah, it’s. Yeah, I’d never thought of it like, a smart lot. Yeah. It was just absolutely mental. And that was every time. And the because was not be outside man.

00:12:54:18 – 00:12:56:00
Elliott Wald
But Sichuan level yourself.

00:12:56:04 – 00:12:58:11
Shane Samler
That’s all right. Yeah. That’s all I would always drink back.

00:12:58:11 – 00:13:11:09
Elliott Wald
You’re like the ah the way I used to be in terms of alcohol wasn’t my thing. Yeah. But I may occasionally have drunk at the end to bring myself down a little bit. Wasn’t really my thing. Yeah. Yeah. But that’s what you’re saying. Yeah.

00:13:11:09 – 00:13:29:18
Shane Samler
Yeah, definitely. Let’s see if I look back on my drinking. I only have a drink to get on it. I don’t like drinking either. I’m not very good drunk. I’m not a funny drunk. Do you not? I mean, yeah, when I think back, just talking to people, you know, when you wake up with you like fucking over that do you not mean.

00:13:29:18 – 00:13:31:23
Shane Samler
And that was every time when I was drinking.

00:13:32:01 – 00:13:32:18
Elliott Wald
Those messages.

00:13:32:18 – 00:13:40:08
Shane Samler
You might you get a rest. Alcohol arrested 42 times in one months. You got arrested only for drunk and disorderly. It was nothing bad.

00:13:40:09 – 00:13:41:18
Elliott Wald
Arrested 42.

00:13:41:24 – 00:13:44:15
Shane Samler
Times, you know, when I was 17.

00:13:44:17 – 00:13:45:17
Elliott Wald
Yeah. From alcohol.

00:13:45:18 – 00:14:04:15
Shane Samler
Yeah. Yeah. When I was just pissed. And the head of Essex Place was our goalkeeper’s mum. So she all, when I used to get arrested, always go get such and such Danny. She’s come watch us all to sun and she was shiny. You’ve got a stop sign is to now my like it was every weekend. Like it was just Yeah it was just a rage.

00:14:04:20 – 00:14:21:03
Elliott Wald
You know listen and I dependance quite an extreme Yeah. You know because what was going through my mind is that sleep deprivation that you were having even like two, three days of no sleep, you start getting paranoid, you start hallucinating. Did you experience paranoia?

00:14:21:03 – 00:14:39:07
Shane Samler
Say I used to Taiwan Coke, tried to do meth because that would level me at night, bring me back to ran different get back on coke and a die for start taking looks. I used to sell a bit of MDMA, right? So I’d always have to announce a more Range Rover. and I’ll just blow.

00:14:39:07 – 00:14:40:11
Elliott Wald
Stereotypical Ranger.

00:14:40:14 – 00:14:42:21
Shane Samler
And I. Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So with.

00:14:42:21 – 00:14:43:17
Elliott Wald
The Range Rover.

00:14:43:17 – 00:14:55:05
Shane Samler
Moment syndrome always got. I’ll get North car. Okay. Yeah. So, get that and I’ll start and then I would just start hallucinating a lot. It would just like mosquitoes. That was a minefield.

00:14:55:05 – 00:15:03:15
Elliott Wald
Arkham it’s so interesting. The amount of people that I’ve seen over the years. It took about seeing bugs in the bed by that time.

00:15:03:15 – 00:15:04:02
Shane Samler
Especially the.

00:15:04:02 – 00:15:04:16
Elliott Wald
Insects.

00:15:04:19 – 00:15:24:07
Shane Samler
Yeah. What’s that about? The silk? Remember flicking my skin always towards the end when I was on gear? That was only one. Not just thinking I was covered in spiders. My ex, Mrs. used to say showing what you do in a walk run ass, put a lot some be thinking I’ll be killing mosquitoes and then wake up in the morning.

00:15:24:09 – 00:15:30:23
Shane Samler
There wouldn’t be no dead ones. Does that mean that was a regular like on. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it was mad.

00:15:30:24 – 00:15:42:18
Elliott Wald
What do you think? What do you think was if you think about you know, people talk about a root cause of having addiction and some people say you can have a genetic predisposition, some addiction. What do you think was the root cause of your addiction.

00:15:42:20 – 00:16:01:23
Shane Samler
Of fake light shit? I’d go, no, when I was younger with falling out of people this and having to move and now they’ve got to let the fruits go. I didn’t fuck it up my football. I think that a big part of playing it, it’s I mean hanging around with they what they all my mates. But I would have wrong people to hang around with me.

00:16:01:24 – 00:16:02:05
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:16:02:09 – 00:16:23:23
Elliott Wald
Like I talk about the tribe mentality because when you when you use Right. You seem to associate with other users you have this tribe and there are several things that go on. You tend to only see those people when you’re using, right? Yeah. Because if you think about your friends and you go, okay, what did I actually do with that friend that didn’t involve alcohol, that didn’t involve drugs, it didn’t involve using When do I see them?

00:16:24:00 – 00:16:27:04
Elliott Wald
So what? What happened to your tribe.

00:16:27:06 – 00:16:41:10
Shane Samler
The last I said six years. I didn’t leave the house. I was just sniffing doors. Yeah, but before that, I was always with people, got excited it out, and so I was always paying for people’s cup of. Yeah. And it was just horrendous paying.

00:16:41:10 – 00:16:42:04
Elliott Wald
For people.

00:16:42:06 – 00:16:44:23
Shane Samler
That I was. No, but I didn’t think that I thought they were my mates.

00:16:44:23 – 00:16:48:06
Elliott Wald
They wanted to be around you because I knew you had, you know, you buy some drugs and.

00:16:48:06 – 00:16:58:13
Shane Samler
You know what? By the end of it, when I didn’t have any doubt, not one of them rang me up. So China coming out got free game, a free beer not to now my lot is just meant when.

00:16:58:13 – 00:17:02:14
Elliott Wald
I say this is the most expensive drug in the world that you want to give away.

00:17:02:16 – 00:17:12:23
Shane Samler
Yeah. You can never go to the toilet if you get through it alone yourself. Just do it on your own. You always because there’s always loads of people in the pubs. Yeah. So you’re a mate tonight? I mean. No.

00:17:13:00 – 00:17:18:06
Elliott Wald
You know, I think in a way it makes you feel slightly better if someone else is doing a line. Yeah. At the same time as you acceptable it.

00:17:18:07 – 00:17:19:13
Shane Samler
Yeah. Yeah. It’s more acceptable.

00:17:19:14 – 00:17:25:06
Elliott Wald
We have so, so that tribe dissipated when you start using it home and you never went back to them.

00:17:25:06 – 00:17:32:12
Shane Samler
Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I’ve got a friend who’s 12 years sober. It is Joe. Like, he’s probably my best mate. He spoke to me the whole way.

00:17:32:12 – 00:17:33:18
Elliott Wald
For what can we say? His first name?

00:17:33:20 – 00:17:34:14
Shane Samler
Chris.

00:17:34:16 – 00:17:36:19
Elliott Wald
Shout out to Chris for being sober, love.

00:17:36:19 – 00:17:37:11
Shane Samler
Yeah. Chris.

00:17:37:11 – 00:17:38:22
Elliott Wald
A slave in the shower.

00:17:38:22 – 00:17:57:00
Shane Samler
Yeah. Shout out, Chris. Yeah. Try to get needs for recovery. Yeah. Got years ago. And then I went into my first rehab and he’s come visit me like he still is the only person I still speak to. I’m close to job. I mean, all the other people, my drinking buddies. I’ve got a couple of old school pals that they were drinking buddies.

00:17:57:00 – 00:18:03:17
Shane Samler
One of them’s in suede and they’re like a ranger. I’ll speak to him. But to be honest, I don’t really talk to a lot.

00:18:03:19 – 00:18:17:02
Elliott Wald
And that’s the interesting thing. I think when you go through that journey of having an addiction to reaching, being clean and being sober and starting to get your life back together, those people just fall by the wayside. Yeah. Do you miss it?

00:18:17:04 – 00:18:26:21
Shane Samler
to be honest, what I’ll miss is just the drugs. Quiet. That is the only sometimes I’ll struggle. I’m not because my walk is bad. You know what?

00:18:27:00 – 00:18:27:12
Elliott Wald
You today?

00:18:27:12 – 00:18:30:24
Shane Samler
Yeah. So I struggled up a lot, was fucking bullied.

00:18:31:01 – 00:18:50:09
Elliott Wald
It’s an interesting thing. And I’ve a step in the mark here, But when we walked from Starbucks to Starbucks sponsored me. When we walked from Starbucks, you know, up into the studio today, you said so really interesting to me goes, I’m really conscious of people looking at the way that I walk and I’m thinking, who gives a flying fuck?

00:18:50:09 – 00:18:52:06
Elliott Wald
But you, you clearly.

00:18:52:06 – 00:19:11:15
Shane Samler
Do a lot people walking behind me, like I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, so I don’t like walking, like with people beyond me. I won’t do it. Okay? I mean, it makes me more conscious. And then when I’m more conscious, that makes it worse. Yeah. I mean, it’s like my therapist. I have therapy, she’s shy, and, you know, if your body’s.

00:19:11:15 – 00:19:14:14
Shane Samler
Well, you’re. If your mind’s. Well, your body will be. Well.

00:19:14:16 – 00:19:14:22
Elliott Wald
Okay.

00:19:15:03 – 00:19:22:04
Shane Samler
I’m not like. I just find it all to accept this walking because I’ve always played football box. I been a.

00:19:22:04 – 00:19:41:00
Elliott Wald
Lad. Now I get so I really get that because as I said, she before, about four or five years ago and I was paralyzed. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went through fusions c1c to see three. P.S. 40, 40, 67 occurrence her my neck that each way. Yeah I understand that. And I was thinking about the concept of never being able to walk again and where if you’ve been active I’ve always been into sport like you have.

00:19:41:00 – 00:19:51:23
Elliott Wald
Yeah. I think if you’ve been active that seems like a quite a high mountain to try and climb over. But you know, it was the way you as like, you know, I’m conscious of what people look and think of me and I’m like really?

00:19:51:24 – 00:19:56:24
Shane Samler
Yeah. So I am always with my face, boy, I don’t know. I only see people.

00:19:57:01 – 00:20:06:20
Elliott Wald
Listening about your face, right. Which you suddenly parasitic to inspire and help other people, which I think is a great thing is your resources to show people don’t fucking.

00:20:06:22 – 00:20:08:01
Shane Samler
Yeah. Yeah.

00:20:08:02 – 00:20:08:12
Elliott Wald
Isn’t it.

00:20:08:17 – 00:20:09:19
Shane Samler
Yeah is Yeah.

00:20:09:21 – 00:20:14:10
Elliott Wald
These are the consequences of using. Yeah. And using it. That’s such a high level.

00:20:14:10 – 00:20:31:14
Shane Samler
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Saber like took it off said did know took someone said about doing these videos on take out. Yeah it took me a month before thought my first video because I would do one and I would see my face now it’s not okay it’s so self-conscious about stuff after.

00:20:31:14 – 00:20:34:00
Elliott Wald
How long did did you get this nose and mouth?

00:20:34:03 – 00:20:46:03
Shane Samler
Nose? In April this year. I went for brain face scan in November. Last year. and they said, you’ve got to. I can’t be cold, but I couldn’t see cause it was all swollen.

00:20:46:04 – 00:20:46:14
Elliott Wald
Right?

00:20:46:20 – 00:20:51:04
Shane Samler
The sufferer couldn’t notice it. Anyway, I’ve got clean in April for free way.

00:20:51:05 – 00:20:52:15
Elliott Wald
April what year?

00:20:52:17 – 00:21:01:05
Shane Samler
Last year I put up three before I even went into the Priory. I’ve got two or three weeks old. Escapes went down. That’s when I could see the how.

00:21:01:05 – 00:21:03:18
Elliott Wald
That’s when, you know, April. Is that when it became clear.

00:21:03:24 – 00:21:15:01
Shane Samler
Yeah. I couldn’t now is it. Cos I told you I only know they’re so swollen like I couldn’t see it right. I mean so it’s in April and then I got back on it and then that became a how.

00:21:15:03 – 00:21:19:04
Elliott Wald
Did you get back on it? Because you could see the damage and you couldn’t deal with it.

00:21:19:06 – 00:21:22:09
Shane Samler
I don’t know, to be honest. I’ll just now got, you know.

00:21:22:11 – 00:21:32:21
Elliott Wald
When you said to me that suddenly calm down and I suddenly noticed there was a hole in my nose, it collapsed and then I got back on. And I’m just wondering if there was a part of you that thought, you know, fuck you, I’ve done this much damage and I can’t deal with it.

00:21:32:21 – 00:21:44:11
Shane Samler
And this might be maybe, yeah, I’ll stop now. The reason. No, I can’t put my finger on the reason. And then, in June, I went in on June two for.

00:21:44:16 – 00:21:46:00
Elliott Wald
June 23. Yeah.

00:21:46:02 – 00:21:47:24
Shane Samler
Yeah, yeah. June 20.

00:21:48:03 – 00:21:48:12
Elliott Wald
20.

00:21:48:12 – 00:22:05:00
Shane Samler
Four. Yeah, yeah. I went to the Priory then and I that how on the 2nd of June that I’ve always a spot Sally’s popping it and then like I think go it’s not volcano like in past. Yeah. I mean it was disgusting.

00:22:05:06 – 00:22:07:12
Elliott Wald
I know your breakfast.

00:22:07:14 – 00:22:31:13
Shane Samler
And my Mrs. used to stick you know them little circle posters. Yeah. Used to stick it out those and then she took it off after it was my God. And you could put a pen inside my nose. Wow. So bad luck. My mouth was seized up long years. We just horrendously leaky. And then my dad see me and he said to my mum, Shane’s dying because he didn’t know about my use it really.

00:22:31:15 – 00:22:38:09
Elliott Wald
I know because. Cause your dad did not know. What did your dad do before the scaffolding company.

00:22:38:11 – 00:22:39:18
Shane Samler
He had set up.

00:22:39:20 – 00:22:42:11
Elliott Wald
So. Okay. Office. Yeah. That out the sex shop.

00:22:42:11 – 00:22:43:12
Shane Samler
Yeah, right.

00:22:43:14 – 00:22:45:03
Elliott Wald
So have you got a house full of like, blah.

00:22:45:05 – 00:22:48:11
Shane Samler
Blah, blah? When I was a kid, we used to. Yeah, yeah.

00:22:48:13 – 00:22:55:14
Elliott Wald
Yeah. So you’ve got this house, right? As you. You walk through the house of your mate slightly 15th birthday. man. All the blow up toys.

00:22:55:14 – 00:22:59:00
Shane Samler
It was the garrote. Is the suitcase in the garage. Well, that was.

00:22:59:02 – 00:23:07:16
Elliott Wald
So sad, to be honest with you. That’s a bit of a a boy in terms of your dad’s not someone who doesn’t understand the world. Yeah, your dad’s a lad, right?

00:23:07:18 – 00:23:09:03
Shane Samler
He’s never been away on drugs.

00:23:09:07 – 00:23:10:17
Elliott Wald
really? Never had friends that you.

00:23:10:17 – 00:23:20:05
Shane Samler
They have a better because he was born and raised in Oxford. Back to Oxford. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah, exactly. And he’s just, just oblivious to Andy cos he.

00:23:20:05 – 00:23:32:04
Elliott Wald
Really want to know. But to go into that industry that I don’t know. I had this perception if you went into the industry of selling sex toys and having a sex shop, I thought you’d be quite streetwise now.

00:23:32:04 – 00:23:46:19
Shane Samler
Yeah. Yeah. Arthur. No, he’s not with drugs a lot because he’s never had it around him. He moved from Oxford a like, well, 20 freak know, I mean to go to Scotland and then moved to Essex with my mum. So he’s just.

00:23:46:21 – 00:23:51:04
Elliott Wald
So your dad didn’t know but your mum was away. Yeah. Okay. Go to town.

00:23:51:06 – 00:24:05:11
Shane Samler
So, Law of Delaware, I thought. Yeah. My dad didn’t know law all the time. And then in a Joan Mott that said to my mum, well I was bought a swimming pool but that was sitting around the table.

00:24:05:11 – 00:24:06:15
Elliott Wald
So you live next door shop.

00:24:06:16 – 00:24:07:08
Shane Samler
Yeah. Yeah.

00:24:07:10 – 00:24:08:03
Elliott Wald
They got a house next.

00:24:08:03 – 00:24:25:10
Shane Samler
Door right next to each other. So I’ll sit in on the sun lounge by the pool. And my dad said to my mum, Fucking Chinese, what’s my Chinese dong. My mum said to him then is really bad on drugs say because he thought I was still clean from where I left the last rehab officer.

00:24:25:11 – 00:24:27:24
Elliott Wald
He knew about the first rehab and.

00:24:27:24 – 00:24:28:22
Shane Samler
The second very.

00:24:28:24 – 00:24:37:20
Elliott Wald
Okay, so he knew about the first rehab, Right? And he knew you had a problem. You then went into a second rehab and he knew you had a problem. Yeah. And he thought that would have been resolved now.

00:24:38:01 – 00:24:40:10
Shane Samler
Because he just outlined what it was, just oblivious he.

00:24:40:10 – 00:24:41:08
Elliott Wald
Did. Maybe he didn’t.

00:24:41:08 – 00:24:42:22
Shane Samler
Want to want another.

00:24:42:24 – 00:24:45:00
Elliott Wald
He didn’t want to think about his son being in that situation.

00:24:45:00 – 00:24:45:22
Shane Samler
Yeah, Yeah, exactly.

00:24:45:22 – 00:24:46:12
Elliott Wald
Understand that.

00:24:46:12 – 00:24:53:10
Shane Samler
Say, because the second rehab my friend won the lottery and it’s. no. Yeah. And he just turned out round. What is my best mike.

00:24:53:10 – 00:24:54:15
Elliott Wald
Right. When you say won the lottery.

00:24:54:15 – 00:24:57:06
Shane Samler
Won the you are millions the raffle.

00:24:57:12 – 00:25:00:15
Elliott Wald
How much is million pounds. Your friend won a minute. Yeah.

00:25:00:17 – 00:25:10:20
Shane Samler
So it just turned up. Ram asked, it was what we’re going to do Shane and I was fucking out in our conference game right after I’d lost everything and it was come which I will go to rehab.

00:25:10:20 – 00:25:12:23
Elliott Wald
So he had an addiction as well.

00:25:12:23 – 00:25:13:12
Shane Samler
Alcohol.

00:25:13:12 – 00:25:17:09
Elliott Wald
He was so he had a friend who had an alcohol addiction. How long have you known the friend?

00:25:17:09 – 00:25:20:16
Shane Samler
I since I was fucking with my best mate from growing up for.

00:25:20:16 – 00:25:21:13
Elliott Wald
A childhood friend.

00:25:21:13 – 00:25:22:17
Shane Samler
Yeah, okay.

00:25:22:19 – 00:25:35:15
Elliott Wald
He won £1,000,000 euros. He had the alcohol addiction. Yeah. So again, so Nguyen’s really off and he said, and you said, I don’t know, I need to deal with this. And he went, Come on, let’s go to rehab. And he took you off to rehab. Yeah.

00:25:35:16 – 00:25:44:20
Shane Samler
Meaning went where? In Salford. Come and look. The laughs. We went there, he only done two weeks out and a month and then after that.

00:25:45:01 – 00:25:48:08
Elliott Wald
Don’t you come out that month. How long are you clean for? After you come out.

00:25:48:12 – 00:25:50:18
Shane Samler
I went into the dry house in South End.

00:25:50:19 – 00:25:52:00
Elliott Wald
Yeah.

00:25:52:02 – 00:26:01:14
Shane Samler
I’m not being a snob. I didn’t like it. It was in a shit out like a white noise. Okay, Then I left there after a couple of days and I was back on it. We’ve been four.

00:26:01:14 – 00:26:16:17
Elliott Wald
Days. Let’s. You know what? Let’s just recap on this, right? Because what I’m going to say and I say this often, I’m not against any methodology, any therapy, any help to to help people stop. And I think there are certain things that were for certain people, and I think there are certain things that don’t work for some people.

00:26:16:21 – 00:26:26:15
Elliott Wald
But let’s have a quick recap. Yeah. The first rehab that you went into, right? Yeah. How do we in the first rehab for a month. Okay. After that month, how long before you got back on it?

00:26:26:15 – 00:26:31:08
Shane Samler
Four months. Then I’ll drink. But in five months till I was on the gear for five months.

00:26:31:08 – 00:26:45:18
Elliott Wald
So. So you come out of the rehab and you were clean and you were loving life. Yeah, right. And you were going on with your life. And four months later, you start drinking alcohol, which was a bit of a gateway for you. And then a month after that, it’s a five months left the rehab, you’re back use.

00:26:45:18 – 00:26:46:10
Shane Samler
Of the cocaine.

00:26:46:10 – 00:26:51:10
Elliott Wald
And when you went back, did you go back straight back to where you were or. No, I was it.

00:26:51:12 – 00:26:54:22
Shane Samler
I’ll use every couple of months for.

00:26:54:24 – 00:27:13:20
Elliott Wald
so this is what happened. And even before you tell me, I’m going to tell you what happened, Right? I know it, right? Yeah. So you come out of rehab and you’re clean for four months, you start drinking alcohol by month five you start using and you only use occasionally a lot less than you originally used. So you think to yourself, This isn’t so bad.

00:27:14:01 – 00:27:28:11
Elliott Wald
I’ve got this right. Everybody would love to go, I’d love to be. I’ll just use every couple of months once, three times a year or fucking love that, right? You thought you had it. Yeah. And so it was a couple of months and then a couple of months and then a month and then a week and then that’s what happens.

00:27:28:11 – 00:27:29:19
Elliott Wald
You spiral like that. Yeah, well.

00:27:29:19 – 00:27:43:20
Shane Samler
What happened is it was a couple of months lost, and then my ex partner’s brother died. It was my brother’s best mate as well. He’s only 21 light, just died in his sleep. And then my uses just become daily because I was with our family.

00:27:43:22 – 00:28:03:18
Elliott Wald
So. So, you know this is this is interesting because through all your using you began to use as an emotional crash and you didn’t have the tools to help you deal with things that came up in life. And all of a sudden this terrible things where you lose somebody who’s close to you and your go to used to get on drugs.

00:28:03:18 – 00:28:07:14
Elliott Wald
Yeah, yeah. And then it just spiraled back down to where you were just literally from.

00:28:07:14 – 00:28:08:24
Shane Samler
Then it’s become diagnosable.

00:28:09:03 – 00:28:11:16
Elliott Wald
So that was off to the that’s the second rehab is this.

00:28:11:16 – 00:28:12:15
Shane Samler
Yeah, Yeah, the second.

00:28:12:16 – 00:28:19:05
Elliott Wald
Okay, so now you go to the third rehab. How long were you in the third rehab for a month. So now another month in the rehab. Third rehab.

00:28:19:05 – 00:28:21:22
Shane Samler
Different respect are what, the last on.

00:28:21:24 – 00:28:22:04
Elliott Wald
Three.

00:28:22:08 – 00:28:25:24
Shane Samler
Down four. But I’ve been sober since the first. Okay.

00:28:26:01 – 00:28:28:07
Elliott Wald
Okay. So the first rehab, five.

00:28:28:07 – 00:28:28:15
Shane Samler
Months.

00:28:28:15 – 00:28:29:23
Elliott Wald
Five months, second rehab.

00:28:30:00 – 00:28:34:08
Shane Samler
Two days to when I’ll come out two days for the last four days, I think about.

00:28:34:10 – 00:28:47:17
Elliott Wald
This. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Second rehab. You’ve been in for a month. Yeah, Because people say this to me. They go, you know, I’ve been in rehab for a month and I haven’t used. And I go, okay, that’s great. And I think it’s great. I think it’s good that you can go there, but you’re not in the real world.

00:28:47:19 – 00:29:01:14
Elliott Wald
You are not around your triggers and your associations and you’ve had a shit day, you’ve had a good day, and you got some money in your pocket and your mates are out and all of a sudden a beer and the sun’s come out. That’s not the real world. The real world is Suddenly you’re back in reality after how many days?

00:29:01:15 – 00:29:02:10
Elliott Wald
The second rehab.

00:29:02:16 – 00:29:06:00
Shane Samler
Four come out. Then I lost. I went into the dry slot. I said.

00:29:06:00 – 00:29:07:22
Elliott Wald
Yeah, You didn’t like it. Didn’t work for you?

00:29:07:23 – 00:29:15:04
Shane Samler
Yeah, it worked for me. Not partially. Yeah. It’s not overnight. It was just. I mean, the homeless place.

00:29:15:06 – 00:29:15:23
Elliott Wald
Okay, I get it.

00:29:15:23 – 00:29:32:03
Shane Samler
So I’ll come out there for four days. I was back at work scaffolding after a month because my walking was like this when I went in. And then after four days of coming out, I was back at work, went back to work on a monday on the Tuesday, still. So on the Wednesday, all relapse.

00:29:32:04 – 00:29:34:17
Elliott Wald
How will you work when you relapse to a hotel?

00:29:34:19 – 00:29:34:21
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:29:34:23 – 00:29:41:14
Elliott Wald
So you finished work? Yeah, Went home. Take me through that. You finished work. You went home. What made you decide to go and get a sleep?

00:29:41:19 – 00:29:50:23
Shane Samler
I don’t know what made me do. So I remember doing it and I. You know, the end zone c I mean. Yeah, So I was doing that. no, stop.

00:29:50:23 – 00:30:04:17
Elliott Wald
Shut up. You’re on a Zoom video link. Yeah, with an AA meeting. Right? Go. Yes. This is my 27th day sober and talking to other people and they’re doing the journey. And in the meantime, you’re racking up. Go doing it.

00:30:04:18 – 00:30:10:21
Shane Samler
I’d say it was. yeah, it was at the start of May in our town mode. And then yeah, I just.

00:30:10:22 – 00:30:12:02
Elliott Wald
Heard him being in a meeting.

00:30:12:06 – 00:30:25:08
Shane Samler
Because I know all people in there like I was in the rehab with. So I was fucking speaking to them on taxis and I was like, I can’t let them down. Germany’s forgot it was mental. It was just so messed up.

00:30:25:08 – 00:30:33:18
Elliott Wald
You’re in an I meeting? Yeah. While you’re LA. Before the meeting. Yeah. And then disappear. And you in the meeting. Is that what happened?

00:30:33:18 – 00:30:35:13
Shane Samler
That was pretty much, yeah. Wow.

00:30:35:14 – 00:30:40:14
Elliott Wald
Yeah, it was. And then you reached another point where you decided to go into the next rehab. This is the third rehab?

00:30:40:19 – 00:30:52:09
Shane Samler
Yeah, since the second rehab one. Those was nothing like this in my years in heavy lot. It was heavy anyway. A lot. Half an eight to an eight for that. Every two.

00:30:52:11 – 00:30:53:06
Elliott Wald
That is full.

00:30:53:06 – 00:31:14:15
Shane Samler
On. Yeah. It was a few days that used to be. And then since the secondary app it’s been daily or every other day if I can make it normally if I do every other day I would finish one day and then the say I finished at 12 11:00, I’ll start taking painkillers. I all about 30 or 40 painkillers a day and in the end over more.

00:31:14:15 – 00:31:19:14
Shane Samler
If that was the only thing, I’ll sleep. So sleep for an hour and a half then like it was just I’m not.

00:31:19:14 – 00:31:20:12
Elliott Wald
Surprised.

00:31:20:14 – 00:31:37:12
Shane Samler
All by it was just such a dark place to be. Amen. But when I went into the Priory, when she done the telephone assessment, she said to me, Schank, you remember what you said to me? She’s not use crying on the phone to me saying, I want to do is sleep gently, but I can’t remember that I’m not fucking.

00:31:37:12 – 00:31:53:19
Shane Samler
Yeah, it’s ballocks. We want kids beds. I’ll I’ll keep thinking I could go back there, but then I’ll forget about how bad it was, you know? I mean, I was in such a bad place and that went on for years, like two and a half years. Not in the end. Yeah. I mean.

00:31:53:21 – 00:31:58:09
Elliott Wald
And then what was the final point that that made that shift to get you clean?

00:31:58:11 – 00:32:16:03
Shane Samler
What that primary a lot said I was trying to go to Freud where you had Yeah. I was trying to do the things I was saying to me, I was like, Listen, I’m dying and I’m not that say we let die. And he booked me to the Priory next day, okay? And then from now I was four weeks in there come, I then went South Africa for six weeks.

00:32:16:03 – 00:32:16:14
Elliott Wald
To another.

00:32:16:14 – 00:32:20:08
Shane Samler
Recovery secondary where you have enough stayed sober since.

00:32:20:11 – 00:32:21:10
Elliott Wald
And how long is that now?

00:32:21:15 – 00:32:24:04
Shane Samler
Since June the 14th. So I’ve got to.

00:32:24:05 – 00:32:41:23
Elliott Wald
Love that both on my kids, but on the. Yeah. Listen, I’ll tell you what’s interesting about this story is you went through four rehabs and I have to take my hat off to you because you didn’t give up. Yeah. You know, I don’t think anybody gets clean when they try on their own or necessarily the very first time they try.

00:32:41:23 – 00:32:49:21
Elliott Wald
And sometimes it takes trying it again and again and again. And and what I admire about you is you didn’t give up. You know, you kept pursuing it. You kept going for it.

00:32:49:23 – 00:32:50:11
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:32:50:13 – 00:33:02:14
Elliott Wald
I don’t like to glorify it, but, you know, I do like people who are listening to be able to go. I did that. I did that. I did that. Also. One of the craziest things you did where you were on it.

00:33:02:16 – 00:33:17:06
Shane Samler
What we were paving is the most common thing. If I’ve got something planned like say I’ve got something planned, it could be a limo, a trip to London with lads. I would always fuck up. The night before there were all the gear I’ve got for that night.

00:33:17:08 – 00:33:18:22
Elliott Wald
so you’ve got to aim for the boys. Yeah, I’ve.

00:33:18:22 – 00:33:19:15
Shane Samler
Got it.

00:33:19:17 – 00:33:22:20
Elliott Wald
All planned. But you’re now sitting there. Got to do a little bit before some of.

00:33:22:20 – 00:33:26:19
Shane Samler
Us do a line, and then when it’s in the draw, it talked to me. It would be.

00:33:26:22 – 00:33:27:23
Elliott Wald
Like, Was it so it was.

00:33:27:23 – 00:33:33:03
Shane Samler
Fucking me like that. Yeah. I mean, or. And then it was even as bad as this moment.

00:33:33:05 – 00:33:33:23
Elliott Wald
Use me.

00:33:33:23 – 00:33:57:01
Shane Samler
Yeah. My mate got married. I was the best man of the whole lot. Fucked up. I paid for the stag do to limos and the night before that got fucked under. No, no. I’ll turn up in fucking winkle pics. The shows in the summer Hopes Rising. It was just horrendous and then turned for the wedding down to No, no the night before didn’t have a speech of focal job.

00:33:57:02 – 00:34:13:16
Shane Samler
I mean, it was everything. Absolutely. If we when we had the wedding, as we all had our hands on me, the groom, the bride and the bridesmaids. And then when we looked back at the photos, my hands were filthy because I’d done it. That work and then found a no no our. Fair enough. We had a shower but didn’t scrub.

00:34:13:18 – 00:34:31:02
Shane Samler
So I don’t scaffolder or drive me Ed’s job. I mean, no matter what it was, could be anything. I mean, but if I had some implants or couldn’t stick to it, the amount of times I said about work, I’d work Saturday. And if I’d done a lie detector test on the Friday, I would have passed because I meant it.

00:34:31:08 – 00:34:49:06
Elliott Wald
You know, it’s funny you should say that, because I did a video the other day that I put out and said, and the client actually said to me, he said, if I had a lie detector for him in the morning regretting and remorse thing and thinking, What the fuck about done, I am sane, I’d never do it again.

00:34:49:06 – 00:35:06:23
Elliott Wald
He said, If you gave me a lie detector at that very moment in time, I pass it, I pass it. And I think every person with addiction actually believes that because that’s what happens. You get to that point five, six, seven, where your case several days later, but you on that comedown and that’s when you’re full of regret and remorse and you believe you’re never going to touch it again.

00:35:07:00 – 00:35:26:07
Elliott Wald
Yeah. The problem is this showed that that belief that you’re never going to do it again, that memory begins to delete itself, becomes smaller and smaller and it completely fucking disappears. Yeah, that’s what happens. There was something I really, really loved about that you said. I’m just trying to find. I got so many notes here. yes. Come on.

00:35:26:07 – 00:35:34:02
Elliott Wald
I want to explain this to me. Explain Cost and consequences. What does that mean? So people listening who don’t know what that means, explain what that means.

00:35:34:02 – 00:35:52:21
Shane Samler
Right? Costs what it cost me a job. Losses, opportunities, lost days of work. I’d done that when I was in rehab. Costs and consequences are more come our back £2 million the scaffold company CI million and then all the stuff that was stolen I mean.

00:35:52:23 – 00:36:00:14
Elliott Wald
I tell you what for the listeners at home if you if they wanted to go home and what they listening to do it cost and consequence explain to them how they do that.

00:36:00:19 – 00:36:12:13
Shane Samler
Right. You get given a list. Well I’ll go give it AB was a list of the things that is cost. Yeah. So like on average last Skyfall companies cost me lot of thousands.

00:36:12:15 – 00:36:13:23
Elliott Wald
So So the money lost from.

00:36:13:23 – 00:36:17:08
Shane Samler
Work. Yeah there wasn’t a lot of lost like jewelry cars.

00:36:17:08 – 00:36:22:23
Elliott Wald
So the valuable items that you that you managed to save and worked to get that you’ve lost. Yeah what else.

00:36:23:00 – 00:36:25:06
Shane Samler
Not business opportunities lost like.

00:36:25:08 – 00:36:27:15
Elliott Wald
So potential things might have come.

00:36:27:15 – 00:36:38:22
Shane Samler
Off could have had a job for a building site, got it pulled into the carpark. Fucked could go in there. Yeah. So that was a big job. Opportunity lost. Yeah. Not days of jobs. You’ve lost the amount of.

00:36:38:23 – 00:36:44:11
Elliott Wald
Fingerprints and not going to, I want to say, measure up. Estimate, estimate a job. Yeah, yeah. Get the job.

00:36:44:13 – 00:37:04:16
Shane Samler
The job. Yeah. Across the job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all the ties off, you’ve had many jobs you’ve lost because of it. Because if anyone stopped me fucking I spent my whole life until I got started to scafell company or taken out a job. Then I was there on more job. Yeah, but couldn’t a lot said I’ll promise people are being just wouldn’t fucking.

00:37:04:17 – 00:37:07:11
Elliott Wald
Okay, so that’s the cost. Now explain the consequences.

00:37:07:11 – 00:37:14:13
Shane Samler
The consequences what? You’ve lost a lot. The biggest thing for me is not the money is fucking not see my kids grow up.

00:37:14:13 – 00:37:15:07
Elliott Wald
How old do they know.

00:37:15:12 – 00:37:34:20
Shane Samler
My boys are? 15 to 14. I live with me now. I not. My little girl was 11 in Birmingham. Jack mean Saba is just cost me years of their life. So I mean, I was best friends, my boys, and then I just lost like reasons be called it that really shocked mean that was that’s the hardest thing.

00:37:34:24 – 00:37:35:12
Elliott Wald
Right.

00:37:35:14 – 00:37:43:21
Shane Samler
I me when I see them now it’s look some days like when I look at around photos I’m just like it just breaks my eye really does.

00:37:43:23 – 00:37:50:22
Elliott Wald
Understand that. So tell me how you how is your life different now, being clean and sober from when you had an addiction?

00:37:50:24 – 00:37:55:19
Shane Samler
Well, since when I was in addiction, always used to watch Joe Rogan today.

00:37:55:19 – 00:37:57:12
Elliott Wald
I know Joe Rogan. I don’t know him personally.

00:37:57:12 – 00:37:57:23
Shane Samler
Yeah, Yeah.

00:37:57:23 – 00:38:00:03
Elliott Wald
But Joe, if you’re listening to be on your podcast.

00:38:00:03 – 00:38:05:05
Shane Samler
Buddy Save A was doing old stuff on transposing. Yeah right And very.

00:38:05:05 – 00:38:05:18
Elliott Wald
Into that.

00:38:05:19 – 00:38:17:17
Shane Samler
Yeah and I used to watch it be not fucking or a lot student. I couldn’t do anything like I could but towards the end that moped to my bedroom saw it so I wouldn’t even pick Mark up it be picked up for me. A need for moped.

00:38:17:17 – 00:38:19:14
Elliott Wald
So you have your gear delivered to.

00:38:19:14 – 00:38:20:04
Shane Samler
You now.

00:38:20:10 – 00:38:21:00
Elliott Wald
What do you mean?

00:38:21:01 – 00:38:22:12
Shane Samler
You’re someone to pick out for me.

00:38:22:14 – 00:38:23:21
Elliott Wald
you’re. You’re selling part.

00:38:23:22 – 00:38:24:18
Shane Samler
Now. Now your.

00:38:24:18 – 00:38:25:05
Elliott Wald
Personal.

00:38:25:05 – 00:38:26:00
Shane Samler
Use. Yeah, some of.

00:38:26:03 – 00:38:34:01
Elliott Wald
Your personal use. You have someone go and get it for you. Bring it to you. Well, how much were you buying at a time? What was it once you bought?

00:38:34:01 – 00:38:35:22
Shane Samler
£70 half an eight for a knife.

00:38:35:22 – 00:38:38:18
Elliott Wald
Okay. One half a night for an eight foot sign. But someone’s going to get it for you.

00:38:38:18 – 00:38:59:20
Shane Samler
Yeah. So then I would lie in bed playing poker. I fucking hate poker, but I would lie in bed playing poker a lot for fucking. I look to mark game time. It was white light for money. Yeah, yeah. Now, all for free. Whatever. It wouldn’t bother me, but I’ll just play that and I’ll get more beds. Go to my bedroom side, which is probably where that door is.

00:38:59:22 – 00:39:17:19
Shane Samler
Okay, then I’ll fall over near now. Couldn’t walk lol. Milwaukee. Was that bad. It was horrendous. So that’s why. That’s why I stopped really because I couldn’t use Giant. I would even have a try light socket, lie in bed, not move, just chop it up on the trike. Yeah. I mean.

00:39:17:21 – 00:39:18:01
Elliott Wald
Like a.

00:39:18:01 – 00:39:39:24
Shane Samler
Moving fuck. You know, it’s dark as dark place. My. Yeah, it really was. Yeah. Well good. So that’s the consequences. My health. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was told somebody of a type If my health was normal, if still went work, I probably would’ve done what every other scaffolded out. Yeah. I mean, it’s just been there life like that, but more constantly.

00:39:40:01 – 00:39:54:02
Shane Samler
Life. Not exactly, it’s not. Yeah. I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t go back now that I. No, but you know why everyone in the building I’m really just bum moves their way through life then I mean that’s just life goes up the pub everybody spanks. All right now, you know, I mean.

00:39:54:02 – 00:40:10:20
Elliott Wald
You know, it’s funny because I had a client of mine probably about five years ago. Bricklayer came to see me. He was using daily. Yeah. And he had three bricklayers working for him so he could come in sometimes to go off work, but still got a wage. And when he stopped, we stayed in touch. And I said, Excuse me.

00:40:10:20 – 00:40:31:21
Elliott Wald
And I said, What do you want to achieve? You said, I want to have a number of bricklayers working for me so that I can get contracts. People at Barratt homes. Yeah, so we can tender for them. And I said, well how many bricklayers you need? I can’t remember the number but since I got 100, 200 it was a lot of bricklayers I because I was thinking wow this amount of wages every single week because you probably don’t get paid for like 90 days.

00:40:31:23 – 00:40:47:24
Elliott Wald
And I was in touch with them not long ago. Only have 375 bricklayers working for the company now. Because he was clean, he was able to focus. He was I was tender for jobs. He was able to do, you know, estimations, things he didn’t. And that’s what happens when you use you think, okay, I’m making a living, I’m paying the bills.

00:40:48:02 – 00:40:54:00
Elliott Wald
Kids have got close, food’s on the table and I’m doing all right. But they could be doing so much better.

00:40:54:04 – 00:41:11:20
Shane Samler
Exactly. Yeah, That was my clock. Just lived weeks, weeks while I was on the money, but I’ll never get fucking shy back then. I used to have when I worked for someone, I used to have a little astrovan full of red diesel. So I didn’t do not I mean, I didn’t have to pay. Fuck, it wasn’t good money but still couldn’t afford to live.

00:41:11:20 – 00:41:35:23
Shane Samler
Really used to pay rent and bits of my last paycheck when I went to see the same orange juice on the 25th, I’ll get paid on 22nd or whatever. I would just use that money for rent. Yeah, I mean, I didn’t just take myself up to the all, but again, as I was just in that repay cycle. And then when last said to start the scaffolding things was doing alright.

00:41:35:23 – 00:41:36:06
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:41:36:06 – 00:41:37:14
Elliott Wald
But then you’ve got money flowing now.

00:41:37:14 – 00:41:45:18
Shane Samler
Yeah. And then I was just a poor arranger over fucking wanted that. But as soon as I’ve got the range I’ve got to show. I mean I was just always trying to do something. Looking for.

00:41:45:18 – 00:41:46:02
Elliott Wald
The next.

00:41:46:02 – 00:42:05:08
Shane Samler
Yeah. They got a pope’s job. I mean I was just trying to fill the hole in this whole job with whatever watches, jewelry. It was just horrendous. And you know what? Nada. I’m sober. Fair enough. My, it still fucked, but I don’t want to fill the hole in, so I’m happy. Not a massive lot, not having barely fucking money.

00:42:05:10 – 00:42:24:09
Shane Samler
I mean, I’m just happy with APRA. We’ve lost a lot since I’ve been sober. I’ve done a bungee jump in Africa down to skydive, lost to dude ice bath my size. Yes. Save for the Yeah. There things that would jump me when I said about watching JAG. Okay. I used to watch big now I’d like to do that.

00:42:24:11 – 00:42:29:12
Shane Samler
But now I’m able to do stuff and just be there when I’ll say I’m going to be there tonight.

00:42:29:12 – 00:42:50:05
Elliott Wald
Yeah, that’s good. I read something else that you said. I love what you said to this answer. what are the words of encouragement you try to give? Someone is trying to stop you. Remember what you said. Go on, let me see what you say first and then I’ll fill you in on anything you’ve didn’t say. what words of encouragement will you give to someone who’s also trying to stop?

00:42:50:07 – 00:42:54:18
Shane Samler
I can remember silence if I can’t live or set goals that we all say, No, no.

00:42:54:18 – 00:42:59:02
Elliott Wald
Just give me. You give me one word of encouragement for somebody to try to stop them.

00:42:59:04 – 00:43:12:23
Shane Samler
Don’t fucking get in a routine of doing it all the time and fucking it fucking up your whole life. Because before me it took everything. The only thing it didn’t take was my life. And that was going to be the next big wave at that. But what did I say?

00:43:12:23 – 00:43:18:00
Elliott Wald
Well, you say I love what you said. You said fucking stop before. You can’t stop.

00:43:18:03 – 00:43:19:06
Shane Samler
It.

00:43:19:08 – 00:43:21:13
Elliott Wald
Yeah. Is that what you believe.

00:43:21:15 – 00:43:36:23
Shane Samler
Has done a lot for youngsters? Fucking what is good bye. Really? Do I mean fucking? Yeah. I can’t understand why I would get in the routine of doing acts that fucking takes. I’ve said everything strips you of absolutely everything.

00:43:37:00 – 00:43:39:17
Elliott Wald
And also, you said addiction would take everything from.

00:43:39:17 – 00:43:40:03
Shane Samler
You.

00:43:40:05 – 00:43:41:15
Elliott Wald
And then it would take your life.

00:43:41:15 – 00:43:43:23
Shane Samler
That thing. Yeah, it’s exactly what I believe.

00:43:43:23 – 00:43:50:07
Elliott Wald
Yeah, I agree with you. And then one another thing you said is don’t let yourself hit rock bottom or go into the basement below.

00:43:50:10 – 00:44:06:16
Shane Samler
Say with me like, you know, people say, you hit rock bottom. Yeah, I’ll fucking hit rock bottom. I’m went into the basement, not fucking five more stops. Yeah. I mean, so when you think you’ve hit rock bottom, that’s fucking bad. But then it goes fucking a lot.

00:44:06:16 – 00:44:15:15
Elliott Wald
So true. Yeah, that’s so true. But you know, I’m going to say, Shane, if when you hit the bottom of the basement, you’re looking up, at least you can see the way out.

00:44:15:15 – 00:44:16:05
Shane Samler
Exactly.

00:44:16:05 – 00:44:17:07
Elliott Wald
And that’s what you did?

00:44:17:07 – 00:44:17:21
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:44:17:23 – 00:44:35:01
Elliott Wald
That’s what you did. So, you know, it’s interesting because here’s the weirdest thing. Let’s say you use and you have a good time, right? Human nature means you’re going to want to use again it again. You want. And if you have a good time, you do again. And so you’re not having a good time, but now you feel you have to do it.

00:44:35:03 – 00:44:36:12
Elliott Wald
And that’s what happens, right?

00:44:36:12 – 00:44:45:15
Shane Samler
Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it does that when I think of my using to begin with, it was good practice. I mean, no, exactly. No getting away from it.

00:44:45:20 – 00:44:59:02
Elliott Wald
The early years. You can have a good blast. Yeah. And here’s what the interesting thing is. People always think I’m never going to end up like that. Nobody starts using the thing I’m going to use for five years. Ten years? 15 years? Yeah. You always think is a good time.

00:44:59:04 – 00:45:14:14
Shane Samler
Yeah. See, you know what? When I was selling it when I was 17 or 18, I’ll come in. But we used to drop it off to a geezer who was twitching. Chop me these little older and he was fucking in a bad way. And I used to say to my mate, I’ll never turn out like that.

00:45:14:14 – 00:45:15:01
Elliott Wald
Yeah.

00:45:15:01 – 00:45:29:09
Shane Samler
And that it was better to me. Now it looks. Yeah. I mean back then it was in a better way than I am now. Yeah. And fucking I was saying that then. So that is not you trying to become how you end up. Yeah. No I just. Chris the slow creeper.

00:45:29:10 – 00:45:30:20
Elliott Wald
Is a slow creep creeper.

00:45:30:21 – 00:45:31:14
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:45:31:16 – 00:45:47:06
Elliott Wald
Definitely. You do not see it coming till it’s there. Yeah. Everybody thinks it’s all right once a week. It’s all right Twice a week until it’s every weekend. And then it’s one day in the week and it’s two days in the week. And you don’t realize how that’s ever going to hit you. It just does.

00:45:47:06 – 00:45:48:16
Shane Samler
Yeah, that’s it. It just.

00:45:48:16 – 00:45:52:05
Elliott Wald
Does. You know, it’s mind blowing how it affects you.

00:45:52:07 – 00:45:53:04
Shane Samler
Yeah.

00:45:53:06 – 00:46:02:11
Elliott Wald
So, you know, I know you have a lot of youngsters listening to your Tik Tok channel. What are you shocked about these days?

00:46:02:13 – 00:46:22:05
Shane Samler
When I get messages from people over six died because more kids, 15. Yeah. And they say I’ve been on it for years, I’m not fucking. And I message loads more fing cool talking about this up my fucking see what it’s done to me. Yeah. I mean, and I started at 16. You weren’t even you were fucking kid it for.

00:46:22:09 – 00:46:22:20
Elliott Wald
Yeah.

00:46:22:22 – 00:46:49:05
Shane Samler
I mean that’s younger to my youngest boy. Yeah. And I’m like I would hate for them to be on it like it would kill me. Sure. Well, hopefully I won’t, because I know what’s happened to me. Exactly. And the mums that drink to that, I mean so they’ve seen they’ve got when I was in rehab they said every addicts got one of the at least one of these four things, genetics, geographic, the fucking bit.

00:46:49:07 – 00:47:07:21
Shane Samler
But I was free genetics. Geographic. yeah, I can’t remember the others, but I was five and I was like, You’ve got 3:00. Couldn’t remember the other two. When I said to them, I was like, You’ve got the first fucking free light. Jazmine Light trauma. That was the first round, knockout round. And they’ve got that. Do you know?

00:47:07:21 – 00:47:10:14
Shane Samler
I mean, so they got older traits already.

00:47:10:17 – 00:47:29:18
Elliott Wald
I mean, it’s funny because I get lots of messages as I was talking to you earlier from people by saying, yes, this has really helped me. And B, I really need help. And you’re right, I get messages from 13, 15 year olds and they’re buying, they’re buying it, and they’re between them and their mates and one line and it’s okay.

00:47:29:20 – 00:47:50:07
Elliott Wald
Well, it is right. They’re not it’s okay, but it’s all it is at that point until eventually it becomes more frequent. So, listen, we’re going to wrap things up, showing I really appreciate you coming, sharing your experience with me. It’s going to be great for those people out there who are struggling themselves. Last word of advice that you’re going to give to somebody who is trying to find the way out.

00:47:50:09 – 00:47:56:04
Elliott Wald
Feels like they’ve failed before. Feels like they don’t have a chance to get free or clean. What would you tell them?

00:47:56:10 – 00:48:15:07
Shane Samler
Well, tell you if I could stop fucking absolutely anyone could stop. I mean, do things that are suggested lot, right? Chat to like minded people and do what Tommy was suggested. Look, anyone can only see get a C but I put it to work John and he sees it. Sit there, say I want this, but you’ve got to do the fucking work.

00:48:15:09 – 00:48:19:00
Elliott Wald
I agree to join in a privilege. Thank you very much.

00:48:19:02 – 00:48:21:02
Shane Samler
Thank you. Thanks a lot.