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00:00:07:26 – 00:00:38:10
Elliott Wald
Hello. I’m Elliott Wald, addiction specialist. And welcome to another episode of Coming Clean with me. And today my guest is Ollie Ollerton. Ollie is a former UK Special Forces operative, instantly recognized as one of the founding directing staff on Channel Four’s SAS Who Dares Wins. Ollie entered the military at 18 during the Royal Marine Commandos and the Special Boat Service, and taught in Northern Ireland, Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and only battled with alcohol, depression and suicidal thoughts for many years.
00:00:38:16 – 00:01:01:27
Elliott Wald
But he’s been sober since 2019, and he’s dedicated himself to helping others to overcome their addiction and challenges through his work with breakpoint. He’s a multiple bestselling author, a powerful motivational speaker, and a staunch advocate for mental health. Join us as we explore Ollie’s mindset, his transformation, and his commitment to empowering individuals to conquer their full potential. Hello, Ollie.
00:01:01:28 – 00:01:03:26
Ollie Ollerton
Hello, Elliot. That was lovely, mate.
00:01:03:27 – 00:01:05:01
Elliott Wald
Thank you. Honestly.
00:01:05:03 – 00:01:06:07
Ollie Ollerton
It’s good to have a reminder.
00:01:06:10 – 00:01:21:07
Elliott Wald
A reminder of how great you all. So, Elliot. Ollie, listen, just just dive straight in. Yeah. my first question with my research team. Let me have a look. Let’s get this in order. let’s go straight to this. This childhood trauma that I’ve heard about. Tell me about that. Yeah.
00:01:21:07 – 00:01:45:21
Ollie Ollerton
Well, really, when, when we talk about that, I always say this. That this is my first memory of life on this planet. It’s my first memory at ten years old, of of, of life starting on this planet because it was such a traumatic, traumatic event. You know, the events before ten years old, I cannot remember. Well, very vaguely, but for me, and a lot of people do know this story, but for the for the benefit of your audience.
00:01:45:24 – 00:02:00:06
Ollie Ollerton
I was ten years old. Burton on Trent, Staffordshire circus turned up into town. We went down to the circus absolutely elated to to to go to. I think it was Chipperfield or something like that. Doesn’t really matter. But we went to see the first person we saw said, can we have a look around? He said, help yourself lads.
00:02:00:06 – 00:02:16:09
Ollie Ollerton
It was 1980. You could actually walk round a wild circus with wild animals. Not a problem. and I was drawn to it as we got through into the big top. You know, there was elephants, this, that and the other. Nothing that really excited me. But there was a split in the canvas and I was, like, drawn to it.
00:02:16:09 – 00:02:28:10
Ollie Ollerton
I left my brother and his best mate, and before I knew it was pulling the canvas to one side, the sun hit me straight in the eyes blurred my vision for a second, but as soon as my vision cleared, I saw something in front of me that was far better than the circus. And that was a baby chimp.
00:02:28:13 – 00:02:44:12
Ollie Ollerton
Now, for me, I was like, so infatuated with Tarzan. I watched it every day. Summer holidays, you know, if you remember the old Johnny Wiseman, you know, speed it up in the walls in the black and white. And that to me was like a little piece of Hollywood. So I was drawn to this creature. Scared. I approached it, and before I knew it, I was over looking over this creature.
00:02:44:12 – 00:02:59:03
Ollie Ollerton
Not much bigger. I was only ten and this creature then went down, picked up something from the floor and started passing it to me. And I was like, what? What is that? You know, it’s like I realized it was food. It was like this thing he’s feeding me, like this baby David Attenborough. It’s like an incredible moment, you know?
00:02:59:03 – 00:03:17:01
Ollie Ollerton
I mean, it was it was surreal. And it was this peaceful moment that I’ve never, you know, it’s like time stood still. It was beautiful. Beautiful blue skies. It was just. Just me and this gym. It was amazing. But then, not that serenity was broken like a fighter jet cutting through the sky as severe as, As I heard this roar I’ll never forget.
00:03:17:06 – 00:03:25:16
Ollie Ollerton
And that was its mother. Oh, well, I didn’t. I didn’t ask it whether it’s mommy or daddy. are you Mom or dad? Yeah, it was about 50kg. It was.
00:03:25:16 – 00:03:26:20
Elliott Wald
Just like, oh fuck yeah.
00:03:26:20 – 00:03:44:25
Ollie Ollerton
I was, oh, fuck. And he was like, he was about this 50 kilogram. I didn’t get chance to weigh it. It was fucking big. and it was heading to me Mach ten, you know, it came bounding out from the shadows and I was like, deer in the headlights. And then all of a sudden, this as I thought, I need to move this thing, pounced.
00:03:44:28 – 00:03:59:15
Ollie Ollerton
All of a sudden, the blue sky turned to black as this thing landed on my chest, pinned to the floor, and it was one soul. Intention was to kill me. I was a threat to its young. Sure. And, and that’s what its intention was. And it was. That fist came down. The first fist came down. Not everything out of me.
00:03:59:17 – 00:04:13:17
Ollie Ollerton
And, followed by a barrage. I was like, it was like a drummer in a rock band. I was the drum. And then it was at that point my life started, flashed in front of me, and I can remember that moment, although it was happening so quick, I can remember being in that moment thinking, I’m die, I’m going to die, I’m going to die.
00:04:13:17 – 00:04:33:20
Ollie Ollerton
And you have that choice in those moments where it’s, you know, do I retaliate or do I defend and just curl up and and if I had curled up, I wouldn’t be here today for sure. But, in that moment, I heard there was there was a voice. And that voice said, it doesn’t end today, you know, and I stepped into this, this, this space that I’d never been to before.
00:04:33:22 – 00:04:49:24
Ollie Ollerton
I access this in a potential, and that inner potential gave me the courage to fight back. And I managed to, like, struggle with the chimp. Get it off. I got my knee up to my chest, smashed out as hard as possible, knocked it to the floor, and then I managed to have a few seconds just to get out of the way.
00:04:49:26 – 00:05:09:08
Ollie Ollerton
And I was scurrying across the floor thinking, you know, this thing? And I was watching this. This chimp was getting up. There was blood all over my blood, all over its teeth. And, and this thing came at me Mach 20. Now, you know, more angry than add up the game. It was angrier than ever. And honestly, I just sat there waiting for this thing to get to me, and it was an inch away before the chain caught it.
00:05:09:15 – 00:05:17:12
Ollie Ollerton
Well, and if it wasn’t for that chain, I wouldn’t be here today. Which my ex-wife would be fucking elated about.
00:05:17:15 – 00:05:33:16
Ollie Ollerton
But the thing is, that event for me and I talk about it a lot because that was a defining moment for me. And I, you know, I’ve, I’ve picked apart that through. I was getting all kinds of stuff, which I only recently just dealt with that. And it’s, it meant so much to me that, you know what I learned from that event, how it’s set me on a trajectory for life.
00:05:33:18 – 00:05:51:17
Ollie Ollerton
And it was there was good things and bad things. Like the first thing for me was the fact that I tapped into that inner potential. That inner potential was the one thing that got me through Special Forces selection twice, and also from the brink of suicide. It was knowing we have that inner potential. Regardless of what’s going on in here, we have we can access something more of that inner strength.
00:05:51:17 – 00:06:13:15
Ollie Ollerton
And that was a powerful thing. Then, and then another thing, it was the fact that this for me, my business is called break Point, is the fact that you have to step into short term discomfort for long term gain. And the way that we’re all wired on this planet is to take short term comfort, which leads to long term pain, you know, and you say something that really meant a lot to me so that it was a it was a lot of learning in that very small moment, very traumatic.
00:06:13:21 – 00:06:35:27
Elliott Wald
But I think you took a big resource from that, that you you looked inside of yourself and you found a strength. And I think that strength stayed with you for the rest of your life to get you through multiple things like selection, as you said. it’s a resource you suddenly developed. Yeah. That’s great. So what are the pivotal moments occur in your teenage years that shaped your path prior to joining the military?
00:06:36:00 – 00:06:50:03
Ollie Ollerton
I think there was a lot of events going on. I mean, to be honest, after after the chimp attack, I was, I was, I was I had all this energy, you know, I had this I was very sort of I was pushing the envelope everywhere. And, you know, it was very up. I was a bad boy, a very bad boy.
00:06:50:03 – 00:07:09:07
Ollie Ollerton
I came from a good family. and, you know, free. I got in trouble with the police, you know, and I was pushing the envelope big time, just big time. And I needed someone to get me to stop. Anyway, that ended. And, you know, I ended up in remand home, only for a short period of time before I went to court, and I just very.
00:07:09:09 – 00:07:24:03
Ollie Ollerton
I just skimmed a custodial sentence. You know, how I never got sent away? I don’t know, but that, for me, was a wake up point, a monumental for my mom because her had marriage falling apart, my dad had left and everything. And then even though everything was falling apart for my mum, she’s the one that, you know, she.
00:07:24:06 – 00:07:25:28
Ollie Ollerton
She reached down and picked me up.
00:07:26:01 – 00:07:27:01
Elliott Wald
It’s. I’m just sorry.
00:07:27:05 – 00:07:27:12
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah.
00:07:27:12 – 00:07:47:22
Elliott Wald
No, no, it’s I just thought of something that really important. It’s interesting because you said about, you know, getting in trouble, going to court, etcetera, avoiding custodial sentence. And yet you ended up in the military when there’s part of that may have not light, comfort, not conversation, may not have liked, authority. That’s what I’m looking for.
00:07:47:24 – 00:07:49:02
Elliott Wald
How did you feel about authority off.
00:07:49:03 – 00:08:06:14
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, I tell you. Well, that’s a really interesting one because my father was like. He was strict, you know? I mean, and I’m not saying that was a bad thing because there were some good things from that with my discipline and everything else. But for me at that young age, because I’ve been brought up in such an extremely disciplined and structured sort of upbringing.
00:08:06:17 – 00:08:26:12
Ollie Ollerton
I didn’t really believe that I was allowed to be a kid, you know, a lot of the times. And it was almost like with that in mind, that also amplified when I went to the military. I rebelled against all that. Yes, 100%, you know, and it wasn’t the fact I wasn’t disciplined, it was the fact that I was rebelling against anything of authority.
00:08:26:12 – 00:08:28:27
Ollie Ollerton
And to be honest, man, I was a pain in the ass when I was in the military.
00:08:28:27 – 00:08:44:12
Elliott Wald
I mean, it, I bring that up because, you know, I touched before we came on the podcast, I gave you a bit of a, a rush through my life history and of abusive childhood and bring it up. And I also disliked authority. And I remember being on Parade Square and being screamed at and just like, yeah.
00:08:44:12 – 00:08:44:24
Ollie Ollerton
Fuck.
00:08:44:24 – 00:08:46:22
Elliott Wald
Off. But then and then, so you get your head around it.
00:08:46:22 – 00:09:03:28
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. Yeah. No, absolutely. And it was it’s one thing that, you know, it wasn’t until years like not I’d say even in the recent years this is one thing, but I’ve, this is how I’ve, sort of picked it apart. I go back to that day, you know, when I actually was attacked by that chimp when I went in to do.
00:09:03:28 – 00:09:31:09
Ollie Ollerton
I was going to 2019. There was a lot of stuff I learned, but one of the things I heard was I went I actually went through the whole attack, you know, the emotional attack, everything. When I did the I was the plant medicine, which was horrendous. but it was something I needed to unpick. And one of the things that happened is when I was being attacked by the chimp, when I was on the plant medicine, everything stopped and the message came into my head saying, what would have happened if you’d not for that day?
00:09:31:11 – 00:09:48:08
Ollie Ollerton
And everything just stopped and I lay down her died. I actually died in that experience. It was quite monumental. I mean, a lay down died. Open my eyes. My wife was looking straight into my eyes, blue eyes. And I just looked at and said, don’t worry, babe, come with me. And we went off into the spirit world. I know this sounds a bit out there, but this was it.
00:09:48:08 – 00:09:48:23
Ollie Ollerton
You know I live.
00:09:48:23 – 00:09:49:13
Elliott Wald
In the world about.
00:09:49:15 – 00:10:03:00
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, yeah, often. So I went into the spirit world. I was no longer body. We were both spirit and it was just incredible. I didn’t want to come back. But anyway, I heard a voice when I was out there said, Ollie, people need you. And I came back into into the body. And it was like, I’ve seen death.
00:10:03:00 – 00:10:11:15
Ollie Ollerton
And it’s like it’s monumental for me. But the thing is, when I’m when I am, you know, afterwards it was like, I got this message, stop fighting, stop fighting.
00:10:11:17 – 00:10:12:28
Elliott Wald
And what did you think that meant?
00:10:12:28 – 00:10:28:25
Ollie Ollerton
What that meant for me was it wasn’t about the military. It wasn’t about anything. It was about I was fighting everything. Now I’m all. I’m up for a good fight. What? I mean, like, if I don’t believe in something and this and the other, but when it’s a detriment to yourself and your own sort of, and you as a person, then you need to address that.
00:10:28:25 – 00:10:47:23
Ollie Ollerton
And I was fighting everything. I was, you know, authority. I was fighting parents. I was fighting the system. Fight everything would be a fight. And it was just stop fighting. You know, for me, it was like, just drop that guard a little bit and allow. Sometimes I’ve been fighting too much. Resisting too much in the authority and everything else.
00:10:47:23 – 00:11:02:12
Ollie Ollerton
So for me it was like such a strong message. Just stop fighting something. What I once did, I was it’s really interesting because I thought when you go do that and you do this fight, you’ve got to come back and you’ve of course got to be mended and everything else. So I’m telling the story when I come back that, well, I learned it because there was a big mark.
00:11:02:12 – 00:11:16:28
Ollie Ollerton
It was compassion. A big mark was stop fighting. And for me, I came back and I thought, well, I’m still I struggle with compassion, you know, like my wife can cry in front of me and I’ll just be like, when is this over? You know, I know I’m I’m I’m crap with compassion, you know what I mean?
00:11:16:28 – 00:11:18:09
Elliott Wald
But at least you know you are.
00:11:18:11 – 00:11:35:10
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, at least I admit it. But the thing for me was, it was. I then realized, well, how come if I’ve done. I was going to have. I’ve done all the treatments that I should be mended. And I realized I was it was just telling me where I needed to focus, not the fact that I was mended. Just through that doing that one experience, it was like, you need to work on your compassion.
00:11:35:15 – 00:11:36:17
Ollie Ollerton
You need to stop fighting.
00:11:36:17 – 00:11:40:23
Elliott Wald
It was almost like that was a gateway of the paths that you need to take.
00:11:40:25 – 00:11:51:18
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, 100%, 100%. And that really helped me a lot because instead of being confused and thinking, well I still got no compassion. It’s not a realized yes. It was just telling me where I need to focus my attention.
00:11:51:22 – 00:11:59:23
Elliott Wald
Okay, so now you’re 18, you joined the Royal Marines Commandos for 18. Don’t you know? Fucking amazing. Well, he’s 18. 18. Look at that.
00:11:59:27 – 00:12:00:27
Ollie Ollerton
Fucking hard life.
00:12:00:29 – 00:12:05:23
Elliott Wald
But you want to be 18 all over again. So now you’re 18, you join the Royal Marines, correct?
00:12:05:23 – 00:12:24:19
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Junior Royal Marines and, for me, it was like I was disappointed as soon as I joined, I don’t hear a lot of military people saying that. That got to my level in the military. But I was disappointed. And really, for me, that was the one thing I went across to, I went across to Northern Ireland.
00:12:24:20 – 00:12:39:00
Ollie Ollerton
I grew up very quickly there when I realized they called it a conflict. But when people are shooting at you, that’s a war, you know? I mean, so and I grew up very quickly there. and then off to, to Desert Storm. And now I came back from there and I was like, I couldn’t handle life as a peacetime soldier.
00:12:39:00 – 00:12:50:13
Ollie Ollerton
I couldn’t stand being in camp. You know, I wanted to be at war every day in this. I blame the chimp for that, by the way. Okay. and this was the main thing for me, and it was like I was searching for war, you know, after that attack, what do you.
00:12:50:13 – 00:12:51:00
Elliott Wald
Think that was?
00:12:51:00 – 00:13:06:28
Ollie Ollerton
Because of that attack? As a kid that put me on this path to look for. I was searching for this battle, the battle. And this is what we think we like. We feel that success, happiness, everything is external of his stomach. And for me, I was searching for a battle that was out there to take that.
00:13:06:28 – 00:13:09:04
Elliott Wald
So you didn’t have to look at the battle that was going inside.
00:13:09:04 – 00:13:11:25
Ollie Ollerton
Only 100% 100. You hit the nation.
00:13:11:25 – 00:13:12:10
Elliott Wald
In a civil.
00:13:12:10 – 00:13:29:23
Ollie Ollerton
War. That’s it. And because we think it’s external, at the end of the day, the place the war was, was internal. and it wasn’t until years later that I did, you know, start to think about suicide at that point, that crunch point where I really realized that if for you to change anything in your world, you need to change the energy of who you are.
00:13:29:23 – 00:13:31:09
Ollie Ollerton
It’s an inside job, 100%.
00:13:31:09 – 00:13:48:05
Elliott Wald
You know, I know this is about you, but I’m just going to pick up on that. I please try to take your life. I was living in L.A. it was my 21st birthday. I remember it very well. I’d come out the services. I was living in Los Angeles and I’m alone on my birthday, and I start thinking about all the things I’d gone through as a kid with the abuse, and I start feeling sorry for myself.
00:13:48:05 – 00:14:08:09
Elliott Wald
And I had a shoulder injury and I had a whole load of painkillers, and I started just downing those painkillers. And as I said to you, I very rarely drink alcohol, but I remember knocking back a bottle of vodka and I don’t have any recollection of what happened, but I wake up and see the sign in hospital in Los Angeles, and I’m handcuffed to each side of the bed at this time, about 18 stone in pretty decent neck training very hard.
00:14:08:12 – 00:14:25:00
Elliott Wald
And, it turns out that someone who knocks on my door delivering a pizza, I’d open the door, not being aware of it, knocked unconscious, been taken to hospital. I’m handcuffed and I need a way. So I ask the nurse, can I can’t, you know, can I do away? And she’s like, she gets this thing and she’s like, she’s going to take it out for me.
00:14:25:02 – 00:14:36:21
Elliott Wald
And at 21, it was incredibly embarrassing at that moment in time for me, it was like, I’m never fucking letting anything this happen to me and my past dictate my future and where I’m going to be. And that’s really what you’re saying? Yeah, I had that moment.
00:14:36:22 – 00:14:55:28
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, I had that moment. And that’s the thing, isn’t it? Unless we I think this is and this is what we do. I mean, I spend a lot of time talking about the survival instinct within. It’s, you know, there’s no stronger driving force in each and every one of us than the, the, the desire for survival. It’s the same with every organism on this planet, from a blade of grass going through concrete to every living and breathing organism.
00:14:55:28 – 00:15:18:29
Ollie Ollerton
You know, it’s that drive for survival. It’s more important than you followers on Ego Gram or, you know, or what house you got, what car you got. It’s that drive for survival. And I think the more that we can connect and have empathy for that, I think it helps us really work with our strengths and weaknesses. You know, at the end of the day, the brain wants to do what we did yesterday and the day before because as far as it’s concerned, it’s kept us alive until today.
00:15:18:29 – 00:15:34:08
Ollie Ollerton
It wants to keep repeating that habit loop because it’s safe and it’s familiar. And we’ve got to understand that we’re not going to evolve if we just a carbon copy of yesterday, all we you’re not going to get anywhere. you know, we we end up, fearing the future and regret in the past. And we’ve really live in that moment.
00:15:34:09 – 00:15:51:13
Ollie Ollerton
It’s easier said than done. you know, try and do it a lot at the time. You know, you never can do it permanently, I don’t believe. But the more we can live in that moment, enjoy that moment. we can really start to get the most out of life. But, you know, just just for me, you know, when you when I look at, I feel for so many people on this planet.
00:15:51:16 – 00:16:09:09
Ollie Ollerton
And this is why I think a lot of people drink and find, you know, things to to take them away from reality is the fact that they’re this stressed out to fuck, you know, they’re looking for escape. And the thing is, you’ve only got to look at you wake up in the morning, you put your phone up. It’s the news that there’s never a good, you know, there’s never a good message on there.
00:16:09:11 – 00:16:25:00
Ollie Ollerton
You’re being belt fed. All this information through the media and everything. You know, there’s two things that will grab your attention and that’s death. And, that’s sex and death, you know, I mean, and the media know that they know that they can do a headline that is going to you got godless of what you’re doing bang off, snap your attention.
00:16:25:00 – 00:16:46:07
Ollie Ollerton
And that’s sex or death, you know, fear or sex and, you know, we’ve got to learn that, you know, and when you look at what you go through, when you’re in those situations, you know, when you’re being attacked by a chimp or when you’ve got a gun pointed at you, the things that happen, you know, all your blood runs away from your vital organs into your extremities so you can get away injection of glucose, cortisol, all that kind of thing.
00:16:46:07 – 00:17:05:13
Ollie Ollerton
The brain rush, the blood rushes from the frontal cortex into the rear brain so that you haven’t got any creative thought. The last thing that you want to be thinking about is how to be creative. When you’ve been shut up, you know what I mean? You need to be instinctive because that super processor at the back, this is so slow, you know, 5 to 9 bits of information thereabouts.
00:17:05:13 – 00:17:05:28
Ollie Ollerton
Correct.
00:17:05:28 – 00:17:15:12
Elliott Wald
And if oh I love that. Yeah. Got similar 1956. Right. That was seven plus or minus two. I’m really five and nine. Bits of information can be read consciously at any one time. I’d forgotten about people.
00:17:15:12 – 00:17:17:10
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah yeah yeah. No I use that a lot. Making a list.
00:17:17:10 – 00:17:19:01
Elliott Wald
Off. It’s a 1956.
00:17:19:04 – 00:17:36:11
Ollie Ollerton
And that’s a bit more to the information I want to steal from you. but when you stress that goes down to one maximum two, you know, it’s like we’ve got to understand. And you people are walking around like this on a daily basis, you know, they are walking around in that sort of, hypervigilant state because they’re not aware that it’s happening.
00:17:36:11 – 00:17:57:23
Ollie Ollerton
They just think that is their modus operandi. That’s how they they operate. But no organism on this planet can live in that heightened sense of, emergency without having some kind of dis ease in the body at some point there’s going to be an illness, because at the end of the day, you look at your immune system, what’s not needed when you’re being hunted, you know, I mean, it’s your immune system and all those vital organs.
00:17:57:23 – 00:18:15:03
Ollie Ollerton
So that’s drop down. But if that’s drop down on a constant basis, that’s when the disease gets in there and everything else. You know, I always laugh at these, not laugh, but look at the, you know, the wildlife programs. You see the gazelle. And it’s chilling out in a beautiful hot, hot day. It’s down by the wadi and it’s like chewing on some grass, having a great time.
00:18:15:03 – 00:18:21:03
Ollie Ollerton
Suddenly it gets a sniff, doesn’t it? Yeah. And that also it’s a bomb straight across the, you know, straight across over things.
00:18:21:07 – 00:18:21:15
Elliott Wald
Yeah.
00:18:21:18 – 00:18:36:01
Ollie Ollerton
And it’s being chased by the lion. The lion gives up. What’s it, what’s it doing? Five minutes later. Yeah. Chilled out. Yeah. Eating the grass and it’s able to turn on that stress response up and down when it’s needed. It doesn’t sit out there chewing grass going oh my God, I don’t know. There’s going to be a lot around it.
00:18:36:03 – 00:18:52:02
Ollie Ollerton
He’s prepared to sit there knowing he’s going to be attacked, attacked at some point, but when that happens he will get the upper edge and be able to bolt off. And we as humans can’t drop that, you know what I mean? I was laughing about myself when I released one of my books, my latest book, which is How to Survive Almost Anything.
00:18:52:02 – 00:18:53:01
Ollie Ollerton
I put a post on Insta.
00:18:53:01 – 00:18:53:14
Elliott Wald
Survive.
00:18:53:14 – 00:18:54:19
Ollie Ollerton
Almost almost anything.
00:18:54:19 – 00:18:57:00
Elliott Wald
Almost, almost. Go on, tell me about this.
00:18:57:00 – 00:19:09:04
Ollie Ollerton
And I was I put a post on this is an A picture for the book, but I put a post on Instagram and it was like by my book, you know, this and the other and I was in shorts. It was this hot summer’s day and I was so happy. I was going through Instagram. I was like, look at all these comments.
00:19:09:07 – 00:19:22:15
Ollie Ollerton
Are these, oh, this is great. You know, really, really feeling the love and everything for this book. And then I got down to one. I wasn’t on and it was like, Ollie, if you forgot to do leg day, mate, there’s.
00:19:22:15 – 00:19:23:02
Elliott Wald
Always something.
00:19:23:02 – 00:19:33:26
Ollie Ollerton
For next 24 hours. I was like that. My head, like all the things, you know, all the things that I could have said. And like I said to my wife, she said, don’t react, do not react. Leave it 24 hours.
00:19:33:26 – 00:19:34:17
Elliott Wald
You’re right. But for.
00:19:34:17 – 00:19:36:00
Ollie Ollerton
24 hours I was like, we’re.
00:19:36:02 – 00:19:36:21
Elliott Wald
Screwing.
00:19:36:21 – 00:19:55:25
Ollie Ollerton
But we allow that one thing. Absolutely. And that’s how we. Why do you know? That’s that’s how we why we why? Because when it comes to your survival, there’s no benefit in to look into all the good stuff. There’s always looking for everything. I mean, this this brain is a it’s it’s it’s looking for ways to survive on a concept that I love.
00:19:55:25 – 00:20:04:10
Elliott Wald
And I’m going to steal. I just thought I’d let everybody know I’m stealing this Somali. I love that blade in the grass coming up through the concrete. I just saw that when you said that. I’m going to steal that.
00:20:04:14 – 00:20:07:14
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, well, it’s sharing knowledge, mate. This is what we’re here to do. Perfect.
00:20:07:18 – 00:20:13:05
Elliott Wald
So. So tell me how alcohol and the military and the Navy and how acceptable. How that’s how that.
00:20:13:05 – 00:20:17:04
Ollie Ollerton
Starts for you. Yeah. For me, I mean, I’m not going to blame the military. I mean, I, I just.
00:20:17:06 – 00:20:20:07
Elliott Wald
Yeah, I say that in terms of it’s a very acceptable.
00:20:20:07 – 00:20:33:23
Ollie Ollerton
Thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, it’s not just acceptable, it’s the way of life, you know, it’s it’s. And really what I was going to say that I was brought up in Burton on Trent. It’s a brewery town, okay. They paid everyone in beer, you know, I mean, including my family. So there was diamond whites everywhere when.
00:20:33:23 – 00:20:35:12
Elliott Wald
I was 14, a baby. Yeah, yeah.
00:20:35:12 – 00:20:57:20
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, exactly. So, Yeah, I didn’t I didn’t get off to a good start. and, and really for me, you know, and. When you start drinking, you know, it’s to mask an emotion, isn’t it? A lot. And not only that, you know, it’s it’s cool. It’s some fun. It’s not something that everyone, if everyone evolves into doing it, there’s no one saying that you shouldn’t shouldn’t drink it.
00:20:57:22 – 00:21:20:10
Ollie Ollerton
There might be nowadays, but this certainly back then, it’s like a natural evolution to do that. But really, when I look at that, you know, we it’s such a good tool because we rent a personality straight away when we, when we’re in confrontational situations, usually with the opposite sex. So we use that vice then as a drug to really just, you know, we have conversations that we would never we did girls that we would never talk to confidence.
00:21:20:14 – 00:21:20:25
Elliott Wald
Yeah.
00:21:20:27 – 00:21:34:07
Ollie Ollerton
I’m you know okay. Yeah. You know, I mean I but at the end of the day you’re making bad choices. You know what I mean? But really for us, as we grow up, we then start to rely on that. You know, that’s when we feel a lack of confidence. And then before, you know it, oh, someone’s died. I’m going to have a drink.
00:21:34:11 – 00:21:39:04
Ollie Ollerton
Someone’s got married. I’m going to have a drink. I’ve had a bad day. I’m going to have a drink. I’ve had a great day. I’m going to have a drink. You know, it’s like just.
00:21:39:04 – 00:21:39:14
Elliott Wald
Coping.
00:21:39:14 – 00:21:56:09
Ollie Ollerton
Mechanism. Coping mechanism. And then really, it’s just that how are we supposed to evolve as humans if we’re taking a drug every time and we don’t actually go to the core issue, which is, you know, what the made a lot of a lot of the issues is like lack of confidence. You’re never going to address that source problem if you forever take a drink.
00:21:56:09 – 00:22:06:14
Ollie Ollerton
This is why a lot of people are walking around now. Got the confidence. Like I didn’t have the confidence to to speak on stage. You know, I went through the military and everything. The Special forces. Yeah. I didn’t have the well, I did it for the first time.
00:22:06:20 – 00:22:09:00
Elliott Wald
I don’t mind being short. I don’t mind being.
00:22:09:02 – 00:22:09:17
Ollie Ollerton
Shot maybe.
00:22:09:18 – 00:22:12:03
Elliott Wald
Behind enemy lines, but I’m not getting on.
00:22:12:05 – 00:22:26:00
Ollie Ollerton
Again on stage. It was locked up. But yeah, you know, if you can’t get me off, you know, I, I love it, absolutely love it now. But, you know, at the end of the I had no confidence. And really when I got to that stage later on, you know, I had to join the Royal Marines and I’ll get back to your question in a minute.
00:22:26:00 – 00:22:42:00
Ollie Ollerton
But the fact was, when I got to the point where I crashed and burned and it was like I finally said to myself, I’ve had enough of that. I’m no longer going to accept a carbon copy of the past because it looks dreadful. It feels dreadful. I don’t want to be part of that. And really, I took responsibility for this time in my life.
00:22:42:00 – 00:22:46:17
Ollie Ollerton
I took responsibility for where I was. and, did you.
00:22:46:17 – 00:22:47:15
Elliott Wald
Start thinking in a different.
00:22:47:15 – 00:23:03:14
Ollie Ollerton
Way? I absolutely started thinking in a different way. You know, it’s like for me, you know, what I did is like, in that moment, I was like, he got to the point where I started to think about suicide, and that was like. It was like a slap around the face for me because I heard the voice again that said, I heard it said, does not end like there’s more to your story than this.
00:23:03:14 – 00:23:06:10
Ollie Ollerton
This is what I heard in my head and luckily I listened to it.
00:23:06:12 – 00:23:18:22
Elliott Wald
You do you know what I was going to? I was looking for a pen earlier on when you said something, and I thought, I haven’t got a pen from here in the middle of a podcast, you said something like, there was a voice in my head with a chimp that said, it’s not going to end like this. I think those words right?
00:23:18:25 – 00:23:31:19
Elliott Wald
And I kept thinking to myself, wow, I wonder if that voice comes back to him internalizing, replicating that voice over and over through his lifetime. Yeah, it’s not going to be like this. It’s not going to be like this. It’s like you’ve got this inner strength that pushes you forward.
00:23:31:19 – 00:23:46:14
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. No, 100%. It’s not the only time, you know, when I went for Special Forces selection, but then I can remember getting off the bus, the youngest on the course, 250 thereabouts. Didn’t count them. Got off the bus in that voice. You know, straight away my ego was like, you have made a big mistake. Get back on the bus.
00:23:46:14 – 00:23:59:23
Ollie Ollerton
Just get back on the bus. And I was going to turn around, get back on. I was like, you’re going to look like a failure. You did all this? And then the voice said, just do today, just do today. And luckily I listened to that hit the mountain pass and all these people that I thought were better than me.
00:23:59:23 – 00:24:16:14
Ollie Ollerton
Every time a milestone of growth and when I was passing them was like, they, you know, these people I perceived that were better than me. and then I was going past these people growing each time, and I started going, who’s that then? Who’s that talking to me in my head? Because you’re lying to me. You lie. And that’s when I started to question.
00:24:16:14 – 00:24:18:20
Ollie Ollerton
You know what I mean? It was that voice. But going back, questioning.
00:24:18:20 – 00:24:19:01
Elliott Wald
Yourself.
00:24:19:04 – 00:24:34:28
Ollie Ollerton
Questioning myself. Yeah. I don’t think that’s that’s a big move for anyone. You know, when you start to become aware of the things you think about, that is the first big step. Because if you are unconscious to the things that are going on up here, you never you never going to evolve, you just depart the program. But anyway, listen, going back to your question about the alcohol in the military.
00:24:35:01 – 00:24:50:13
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, I mean, you know yourself. Yeah, it is. You know, it’s the thing that everybody do does I can’t actually imagine, you know, I can’t look back and say, I wish I hadn’t have drank because it was part of that. It was part of the big boys club. And, you know, you know, there are interventions now which had I, I’m not there.
00:24:50:13 – 00:24:54:19
Ollie Ollerton
So I don’t know if they work, but at the end of the day, this was the way we used to deal with stress.
00:24:54:19 – 00:24:55:11
Elliott Wald
Yeah.
00:24:55:14 – 00:24:59:20
Ollie Ollerton
You know, you used to go out do stuff and it was like just get shitfaced. But I think work hard, play hard.
00:24:59:20 – 00:25:07:24
Elliott Wald
I think I think that starts very early on because even when going through basic training and you get leave or whatever, you’re going out with the boys, you know, basic training with, yeah, go and sit on the pubs and getting pissed.
00:25:07:25 – 00:25:26:21
Ollie Ollerton
No, it’s just you don’t do anything else but do that, culture. But the thing is, for me, I like I just feel like, you know, even when I was going away, when I was, when I was qualified SBS and everything in Special forces and go around the world, you know, I went to some amazing places and instead of, like, I would look for the ball, you know, I could have been anyway, I could have been in the back streets in London or Manchester or whatever.
00:25:26:21 – 00:25:48:12
Ollie Ollerton
But I went to the ball. I just looked every time I had the opportunity to, to escape from the reality of who I was, I would get shit faced and that for me became my identity. You know, when I did Crash and Burn at that time, I actually had no fucking clue who I was. And that again, how you minds why it because it wants to do what it did yesterday in the day before.
00:25:48:12 – 00:26:00:03
Ollie Ollerton
It wants to be, you know, it wants to, it wants to repeat the past when you don’t know who you call the future of moving forward. Without the vices that have made you who you are. It’s fucking.
00:26:00:03 – 00:26:15:11
Elliott Wald
Terrifying. Yeah, scary. Yeah. It’s scary. This. This is part of my identity. Drinking. Yeah. And all of a sudden I don’t have the identity. What am I going to do to deal with life? What am I going to do with problems? How am I gonna deal with bickering, arguments, bills, bonuses? Money? Not having money. That’s your trigger.
00:26:15:11 – 00:26:16:11
Elliott Wald
That’s how you dealt with everything?
00:26:16:11 – 00:26:22:05
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, 100%. And then there’s also the social sort of, pressure, you know. Oh, like, where’s Ollie? Where’s party boy? You know, it’s.
00:26:22:05 – 00:26:24:00
Elliott Wald
Like, how do you deal with that now?
00:26:24:02 – 00:26:43:02
Ollie Ollerton
Well, maybe my life is has changed dramatically. You know, when I first stopped drinking, it’s like I actually give up in 2019, but I gave up in 2016. and that was the second show of SAS Who Dares Wins in Costa Rica. And for me, it was like the second show. I was like, I want to give him my best on TV.
00:26:43:02 – 00:26:55:21
Ollie Ollerton
So I’m going to and I know the first series, I was really affected by the amount of drank leading up to that. Right? And I went into it like a bit of a gibbering wreck. And then the second one, I was like, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to eight weeks out. I’m going to try my best.
00:26:55:21 – 00:27:21:24
Ollie Ollerton
I’ve never done that my life. So I had something to aim for. So I said, I think it was six weeks. And then it got to the point where, it was it was a wrap party, you know, I mean, it was like everyone let loose. I even foxy, one of my best mates off the show I’ve known for eons, you know, he was he couldn’t wait to get Ollie back and, you know, it came to that wrap party, and it was like Foxy came up and was like, well, let’s kiss your face.
00:27:22:01 – 00:27:39:19
Ollie Ollerton
And it was the first time ever that I’d actually not fallen into the program. I actually bought the program back into the frontal cortex and analyzed what I was doing in that moment. I took a breath and went, hold on, I feel fucking great, I feel amazing. I just took a breath and I looked at Foxy. I went, sorry mate, I’m going to give it a miss.
00:27:39:19 – 00:27:57:00
Ollie Ollerton
And he was like, he was speechless. He and I walked off to my room. Really? In this world? I didn’t know what was going on. I sat in that room, heard every party, and I managed to push through that. And then the next morning everyone was still drinking at like six in the morning shit face. And I was going out for a run and it was like, that was your best reward in the world.
00:27:57:00 – 00:27:58:14
Elliott Wald
It was, isn’t it?
00:27:58:16 – 00:27:59:08
Ollie Ollerton
it was incredible.
00:27:59:15 – 00:28:12:01
Elliott Wald
I say this to people all the time. You know, you listen to this show when you get up on a on a Saturday morning when you didn’t get shitfaced on a Friday, it’s like, now I can do things with the family. I can do things for myself. I can go to the gym. I can feel good. Yeah. Oh, what a night and day and day.
00:28:12:04 – 00:28:26:28
Ollie Ollerton
Well, the thing is, I mean, I can remember someone saying to me, I was on Instagram on the first, like said, you know, because once you put it on Instagram, you’ve got it’s real, isn’t it? but I actually said, yeah, I’m going to stop drinking. And someone wrote on there, it’s like, well, you only live once, why would you do that?
00:28:26:28 – 00:28:30:10
Ollie Ollerton
And I went, yeah, exactly. You know, it’s like he’s glass half full, isn’t it?
00:28:30:12 – 00:28:36:08
Elliott Wald
But you know what? When people say I have I have a response now it’s very, very simple. And I go set every at it once.
00:28:36:13 – 00:28:37:19
Ollie Ollerton
Yes, yes.
00:28:37:19 – 00:28:55:00
Elliott Wald
Well why would you want to give up drinking. Said everybody wants what you wanna give out drugs said everybody wants. I love having a good time with drugs and everybody wants. Yes, I like getting pissed at everybody. Well yeah that, that’s that’s my go. Yeah yeah yeah yeah I was up 100. so what was the turning point for you, you know, before 2009 saying that that’s it now.
00:28:55:02 – 00:29:12:04
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. Well, for me, it’s like I was battling with it for a long time. It wasn’t any like it wasn’t a point when I went right. You know, I was battling with it. It wasn’t enjoyable. It got to the point where you know those. And this again is like I said before, you know, the the opposite of what point is, is, is taking the path of least resistance.
00:29:12:04 – 00:29:30:04
Ollie Ollerton
And it’s the short term comfort, long term gain and short term comfort is taking drugs, alcohol. Because for that small window of feeling good God, you pay for that. You know, I mean, you pay for it tenfold. And it’s like I could not, you know, I was looking back, I get one good day of having a laugh and then that would extend.
00:29:30:06 – 00:29:43:24
Ollie Ollerton
I didn’t want to I didn’t want to come down. So I would then go on another day. Then it could be three days, it could even be four days. And then I would lose three times that. Yeah, you know what I mean. And for me, I was like, I was battling with that for a long time. My soul was telling me, you know, this has got to stop.
00:29:43:24 – 00:30:06:00
Ollie Ollerton
You know, you just I could see this repeat pattern a lot. We were talking before on the way here. I mean, it’s like. It’s like you’re doing the same thing all the time, expecting a different outcome. That is madness. Absolute madness. So if I kept doing the same thing, expecting a different outcome, and then the whole thing about, well, I just learn to manage it, I went into that sort of zone as well for a bit, and I even realized that like just having 1 or 2 drinks just disrupted my chemistry so much.
00:30:06:00 – 00:30:19:02
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, that was it. Was it? I did that as soon as I had one drink. I’d have all these dreams and visions of doing something, and then all of a sudden it would go, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t give a fuck about anything. And that would then take me, you know, drink more, drink more, do whatever.
00:30:19:05 – 00:30:30:25
Ollie Ollerton
And it was just this up and down rollercoaster and I really do. Looking back now, I now realize that we’re dopamine addicts, aren’t we? Definitely we. And but the system isn’t. Our system isn’t designed to to have these dopamine.
00:30:30:25 – 00:30:31:15
Elliott Wald
No, no.
00:30:31:17 – 00:30:41:10
Ollie Ollerton
You’re right. You know what I mean. And that’s what we get addicted to. That shopping, porn, everything. You know, whatever your vices, it’s that dopamine. And it’s like that for me, is like a lot of people’s problem.
00:30:41:10 – 00:30:54:08
Elliott Wald
I’m going to pick up on tonight. You said about pain and pleasure. So. So this is the way that I describe it. In life. We have most of the things we do in life revolve around having an a level of pain. Right? So we go to work. We call that pain to get paid to buy nice things. We call that pleasure, right?
00:30:54:08 – 00:31:08:08
Elliott Wald
It’s a pain of pleasure. We learn to drive a vehicle. We call that pain to have the freedom to get from A to B, we call that pleasure. Now, most things in life have an element of pain before you get pleasure. But when it comes to drugs and drink, there is a perception of pleasure. First. The pain comes later, there the wrong way round.
00:31:08:08 – 00:31:14:16
Elliott Wald
The drive is a mixed up. Yeah, you have to put the pain before the pleasure. You’re reminded the reasons why you don’t want to do the thing that you used to do.
00:31:14:20 – 00:31:31:01
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. Nice. Amazing. And I have actually been thinking along those lines as well. At the moment, what actually makes is actually take action, right? You’ve got either reward or fear. Yeah. Do you know, I mean those two things. And at the end of the day, you know, it’s because I look around at people doing these abuses, you know, why is someone smoking.
00:31:31:04 – 00:31:36:07
Ollie Ollerton
So people know I mean, there’s enough evidence now. There’s not enough evidence at the moment about drink because that’s a carcinogenic.
00:31:36:07 – 00:31:37:06
Elliott Wald
Yes, definitely.
00:31:37:06 – 00:31:45:15
Ollie Ollerton
You know what I mean. And also, I was watching something on the way here on Instagram about and it makes sense catching cancers through coke addiction because the amount of shit that’s in there, you know.
00:31:45:20 – 00:31:53:12
Elliott Wald
They’re burnt in a tire when they take it. They have a rubber tire. Yeah. Where they put the coke in. Yeah. And they burn it. So it’s cool. It creates carcinogen. It’s within.
00:31:53:14 – 00:31:54:05
Ollie Ollerton
Exactly.
00:31:54:05 – 00:32:05:25
Elliott Wald
And if you talk about cigarets, there are an average cigaret 4000 chemical compounds with 38 carcinogenic in every cigaret, you know. Yeah, that’s a lot. So when you alcohol consumption what did you get to its maximum in terms of quantity.
00:32:05:28 – 00:32:27:12
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. For me I mean that was I was I’d actually come back from you know, I was, I was more or less when I was, I was working in Iraq as a, as a contractor mercenary, like, let’s call it mercenary. But I suppose it was at the end of the day, but, I was over there and I was, you know, as soon as I left the military, it was it got worse, it got a lot worse.
00:32:27:12 – 00:32:49:07
Ollie Ollerton
And I think that was because that was that was I was working a lot harder in the military, you know, I mean, there was, I was I was kept within the confines of the military. And that was, you know, detriments in some respects. But the thing is, when I look at coming out the back end of that, the fact was I’ve worked for that period, and then you allowed a small period to then look drunk, you know, I mean, you had to be back at work to perform.
00:32:49:09 – 00:33:04:14
Ollie Ollerton
But when I left the military that that wasn’t the case. I wasn’t working as hard or for the same kind of, you know, time away. But then I was like, so any I was trained in my head that when you’re not working, you’re drinking. And I was I had a lot more time off when I was, when I was a civilian.
00:33:04:14 – 00:33:05:15
Elliott Wald
Work hard, play hard, work.
00:33:05:15 – 00:33:25:16
Ollie Ollerton
Hard, play hard. Yeah. No. Absolutely. So I did that. And then I went over to Iraq as a contract. I was being paid a fortune out there. Yeah, it was brilliant. Shortly after getting there, I was attacked, which was the most scariest experience in my life. And the reason I say that is because it was the first time in my life I had not had that close knit team around me that, you know, makes you feel invincible.
00:33:25:16 – 00:33:43:11
Ollie Ollerton
You know, you’ve got all the assets, air assets, you know, ships out at sea that you can bring in, naval gunfire, all kinds of things, you know? I mean, you feel invincible, but when you’re in the Special Forces, you, like, bring it on. I want it, you know? Come on, guys, we’re ready for you. But when I was out there in Iraq, it was two of us, and we were attacked by eight people.
00:33:43:14 – 00:33:57:23
Ollie Ollerton
You know, I mean, two cars. And it was it was fucking horrible. And I was like, I thought I was dying. I, you know, I was driving a car 100 and 130 K’s an hour, having to have this gunfight out the window. And it was like I was fucking and I didn’t think I was coming home, you know?
00:33:57:23 – 00:34:11:24
Ollie Ollerton
So, what year was this? That was 2003, 2004. That happened. So it was like just after the fall of the the statue in third or square and then, and then, you know, it was the calm before the storm. You know.
00:34:11:26 – 00:34:20:07
Elliott Wald
It’s almost like I put myself in such a situation that it’s so fucking dangerous. I’m lucky to come out of it. So when I’m not working, why don’t I get obliterated? Yeah.
00:34:20:10 – 00:34:42:09
Ollie Ollerton
That exactly that mentality. And the fact was, you know, it’s like also there was there was a lot going on in my life. I’d actually left my wife at that time, you know, my son was only three years old, you know. And I decided enough was enough. I had to I had to get to a warzone to get away from it, you know, it’s like, so I had all that going on in the way that I coined that noise down was, was drinking, you know, as soon as the doors were shut, bang, stop, drink.
00:34:42:11 – 00:34:54:25
Ollie Ollerton
And everyone in the village was doing the same thing, you know, but I felt I was drinking more than everyone else, because when the doors shut at night, I made sure I have a stash in the bedroom because it’s the only way I could. I had to knock myself out to sleep. And you don’t really. When you’re drinking, you don’t.
00:34:54:25 – 00:35:04:28
Ollie Ollerton
You know, it’s not sleep level. It’s not the same level. Every night I slept with a pistol under my pillow, not knowing if the door was going to get bashed in through the night, you know, it was. And then I started taking Valium and. Yeah.
00:35:04:28 – 00:35:06:16
Elliott Wald
And mixed with the alcohol. Yeah.
00:35:06:21 – 00:35:16:22
Ollie Ollerton
And it was like. And then, you know, you don’t have to be a mental health specialist to understand that that cocktail, plus being in a war zone, being shot at is good for you. It’s not. Don’t test it and take it from me.
00:35:16:22 – 00:35:17:29
Elliott Wald
I’m not gonna I’m not going.
00:35:17:29 – 00:35:32:22
Ollie Ollerton
To take it for me. So for me, that was it. You know, it’s like I can remember this one time I went to this, like, every Thursday was this these parties in Baghdad. And it’s like we all used to go to body armor on in the armored vehicles, go to a place, you’d stay there till the next morning and then leave when you’re sobered up.
00:35:32:22 – 00:35:49:22
Ollie Ollerton
Semi sobered up. And I went there. I had my own, car. and I got there. I remember at 12:00 at night, I was pissed at my face, like on whiskey and all sorts of stuff, proper thought. And, I just got my body armor back on, shirt over the top, my weapons. I got to my car, told the local guard, let me out.
00:35:49:29 – 00:35:53:04
Ollie Ollerton
Well, I’ll fucking release myself straight into Baghdad. And I was.
00:35:53:04 – 00:35:54:21
Elliott Wald
Like, drunk.
00:35:54:24 – 00:36:13:24
Ollie Ollerton
Beyond me. I didn’t, I wasn’t driving, I was aiming, not aiming. Car unarmed, no I.D. zone, no ID, no nothing in a war zone. So you an enemy? Enemy to everyone. And I got lost me in Baghdad. Mean I got lost in Baghdad. Didn’t know where I was. No shitting myself. And I was like, I need to get to high ground because I knew where our village was in line.
00:36:13:24 – 00:36:34:10
Ollie Ollerton
We. One of the towers. I can remember going to the top of this tower well, on top of this bridge, and I could remember this is one of the moments I opened the door and my AK 47 fell out the car door onto the floor, and I followed it, and I was lying on the floor. And I was like, thinking this May, this is this ain’t good, you know, because at any moment there could have been the militia come up, the could have been Americans come up.
00:36:34:13 – 00:36:57:09
Ollie Ollerton
And I managed to find this, like this marker, and I managed to point the car in the right direction, stumble over the villa that was the first marker. And then for me, you know, this then went on and left Iraq, I left Iraq, I was living in, living in Australia. I got myself a decent job and stuff, and I made the drinking, got out of control, you know, it’s like I was doing this, abstain in the week and then get hammered at the weekend.
00:36:57:09 – 00:37:10:20
Ollie Ollerton
But then those weekends, you know, I’d wake up in the morning bingeing and then you know, I’d wake up because you can’t sleep. I probably, you know, go to sleep and wake up in like two, three in the morning. And the thing to get back to sleep was like small drinking to me and fall asleep. And then that would be turned into a binge.
00:37:10:27 – 00:37:14:01
Ollie Ollerton
Didn’t turn up for work on Mondays. And it was like, this is this is no good.
00:37:14:03 – 00:37:18:18
Elliott Wald
What strategies do you find most beneficial and successful in keeping you sober?
00:37:18:20 – 00:37:32:21
Ollie Ollerton
Well, I mean, at the end of the day, I feel now I feel I mean, you know, this at the start is a very different thing. Now, at the moment I’m so I wear like a badge of honor. You know what I mean? When I go superpower, you know, it’s like when I always say I’m in the winner’s enclosure.
00:37:32:28 – 00:37:55:03
Ollie Ollerton
Anyone that says to me, you know, I’ve got a lot of people. I only have done 100 days. I’m like, welcome to the winner’s enclosure, you know? But for me, you know, it’s it’s for me, it’s understanding that you can change, be it’s understanding. And one thing that came up for me when I went over to Costa Rica and I came up with this, this sign in my head kept going around, and that was pain.
00:37:55:03 – 00:37:57:00
Ollie Ollerton
Screams the loudest when it’s dying. Yeah.
00:37:57:00 – 00:38:00:23
Elliott Wald
You mentioned that to me before. Yeah. Pain screams the loudest when you’re dying.
00:38:00:23 – 00:38:03:09
Ollie Ollerton
When it’s dying. When it’s dying. Yeah. When the pain is.
00:38:03:11 – 00:38:06:18
Elliott Wald
When it’s doing. Yeah. Okay. So he wants to get, he wants to stay back. He wants to keep. Yeah.
00:38:06:18 – 00:38:23:19
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. And it’s like if you know, to put it into context, if you look at it like a relationship, you know, you got a relationship. It’s totally toxic. You know, you’re getting to the point where you’re going to leave, you’re going to split up. But, you know, you girlfriend’s crying. It’s traumatic. I know what you can do in that moment is just, oh, you can make those tears stop.
00:38:23:21 – 00:38:37:22
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah. You can give her a hug, you can do something. But you then caught back in that whirlwind of trauma. You’re still in the same space. Yeah. And at the end of the day, this is the moment when it’s all that trauma, all that, you know, it’s mayhem and everything. You’ve got to start looking at the fact this is the birth of something new.
00:38:37:24 – 00:38:50:00
Ollie Ollerton
You are moving through a break. It’s a break point, a break through, and you have to go through that. You know, that really tiny sort of channeled. Yeah. pin narrowing and narrowing, you know, bottleneck.
00:38:50:01 – 00:38:50:05
Elliott Wald
Yeah.
00:38:50:05 – 00:39:01:21
Ollie Ollerton
To come out, to get through to the other side. But it’s just understanding the more that we can live in that moment and just take baby steps, keep moving forward, then that pain and discomfort is temporary. As long as you’ve got clarity of where you’re going.
00:39:01:23 – 00:39:18:23
Elliott Wald
Do you know, picking up on what you just said I did a podcast hasn’t gone out yet as an episode where the guy who Charlie Engle and Charlie Engle ran the Sahara Desert to do it wasn’t to do with addiction. He broke his addiction and he decided he wanted to push himself. So he’d done a marathon in the morning and a marathon in the evening.
00:39:18:26 – 00:39:40:03
Elliott Wald
Two marathons a day in 47 degrees in the Sahara desert for 111 days straight. He ran 50, 26, 52 miles a day, 111 days so he could push himself, which is what you’re talking about through that discomfort, to become comfortable with being uncomfortable so you could deal with his addiction. And now every year, I think he’s 31 years sober.
00:39:40:03 – 00:39:47:17
Elliott Wald
June. And every year on the anniversary of his sobriety, he runs, an hour for every year he’s sober. So you just run 31 hours.
00:39:47:24 – 00:39:56:09
Ollie Ollerton
Wow, that’s incredibly impressive. But that goes back. And this is the one thing going on that Elliot is one of that special forces when I starting special forces selection just do today.
00:39:56:12 – 00:40:13:09
Elliott Wald
Yeah. And that’s what I picked. That’s what made me think of it. Yeah. Because the characters of you both, there’s so many similarities. Yeah. And as I said to you, when we were having earlier on before we came in here, I said, there’s very much an all or nothing mentality. I think that’s a very, very common trait with lots of people who become addictive.
00:40:13:14 – 00:40:28:19
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, I think also that’s a blessing and a curse as well. You know, it’s not all or nothing mentality, you know, because I found it really hard to sit in the middle, you know, and I think the more that you that you can stop, you know, it’s like the simple things I think it’s if you address the small stuff and I’ve just did a lot recently once.
00:40:28:19 – 00:40:54:21
Ollie Ollerton
And one thing this really made a massive difference to me. You know, in January this year, I was running a dry January, campaign. You know, we had the 10-K race at the end, which was brilliant. and it was just mentoring people through that whole, you know, January. And it’s like it was it is it is easy to forget how uncomfortable is giving up drink or you know, so and I was start to think I, I’m not actually doing anything and it’s uncomfortable.
00:40:54:21 – 00:41:11:09
Ollie Ollerton
You know I gave up drinking a long time ago. So this is my, my M.O.. You know what I mean? It’s easy for me. So I thought I need to do something. So every day they’re doing something, I need to do something. And I thought, when was the last time you did anything for 30 days? Consistently? Never. Not since I stopped drinking years ago.
00:41:11:12 – 00:41:26:02
Ollie Ollerton
And I was like, you know, I go to the gym and stuff, but, you know, I’ll miss a day because of an excuse for this. You know, it’s just human nature. And I thought, well, how about you just do something where it’s non-negotiable for 30 days and live, you know, and this is just change, a habit, you know what I mean?
00:41:26:03 – 00:41:45:15
Ollie Ollerton
Every day change a habit. So I’ve got given a very nice ice bath, that I’ve got to use because they want their. The pennies were a thousand to do. So I said, right, every day I’m going to do an ice bath. I mean, for me two minutes. Right. And that’s including getting to the end. I started off with one minute and built up as a one.
00:41:45:18 – 00:42:02:09
Ollie Ollerton
How can you not do that? Your mind will tell you, oh, I can’t be bothered. All you do is try all these all this trickery, all these wizardry. Yeah. To divert you on your path of doing something. And for me, forget the ice bath is something uncomfortable that my mind is going to play games to try and get me to avoid.
00:42:02:12 – 00:42:25:22
Ollie Ollerton
I’m committed to it every day. And I’ll tell you now, it’s like over 14 days. My mind changed and I realized the power of these micro habits start to forge a more disciplined and overpowering mentality against the program. Because we’ve got 5% of creative, you know, in our tax, 95% is the program. And that’s why that’s that person that gets up in the morning, I’m not going to drink today.
00:42:25:24 – 00:42:34:25
Ollie Ollerton
And then before you know, it gets towards the end of the day and the program, the 95% taps on the shoulder and says, you’ve got how we do things around here, aren’t you? Yeah. Oh, I’ll take a drink. Exactly.
00:42:34:26 – 00:42:48:19
Elliott Wald
I got a little tip for people who do ice baths. I use it as an analogy. When people do an ice bath, I think this is what they should think of. You know, it’s freezing cold. Right. And if you try and get in very gradually, very slowly, it’s very painful. It’s very difficult. It’s like it’s fucking cold.
00:42:48:19 – 00:43:05:12
Elliott Wald
I want to get in here. Yeah. That’s like giving up an addiction. If you can’t deal with it slowly, I’ll reduce. I’ll use less. I won’t use on this occasion. But if you jump straight into the ice bath. Yeah, it’s fucking cold. Yeah, but within a few seconds, within a few seconds you acclimatize. It gets comfortable. Yeah. That’s what it’s like with an addiction.
00:43:05:12 – 00:43:08:27
Elliott Wald
Jump straight in and stop and you acclimatize. Yeah.
00:43:09:00 – 00:43:28:04
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, 100%. And that for me is, you know, when you look at the language as well, you’ll probably agree with this. I mean, we are driven by the language in the words that are in here, you know, and what happens when you, I know you’ll back me up on this, but when you think a thought in here and we’re driven by image, that creates an image that then releases complementary medicine into your body.
00:43:28:06 – 00:43:45:22
Ollie Ollerton
Absolutely. If you know me. So if you’re thinking or you know, because the program will take control, you know, the program that calls you to drink every day and everything will try and get you back there and try you, you know, keep you in that repeat habit loop. But really, it’s just understanding the thoughts in your head like I have wiped out the word hope in my vocab.
00:43:45:25 – 00:44:04:20
Ollie Ollerton
Hope is a poor man’s cry. You know what I mean? When we say I hope to give up your or I’m going to try. That’s not powerful enough. I am fucking giving up. You know that’s enough to the or even more positive forward projects. You do your words around the fact that you’ve already done it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
00:44:04:20 – 00:44:20:17
Ollie Ollerton
But if you sit there going to act as if, you know, it’s like, yeah, I’m so happy and grateful. Now that I no longer have to rely on drinking when I give up drinking, I tell you what, the biggest win for me was the fact that I was back in control regardless of what it was, whether it’s alcohol, whether it’s cocaine, drugs or whatever.
00:44:20:20 – 00:44:38:01
Ollie Ollerton
I was in the driving seat for the first time in a long time. You know? I was fucking pawns, bitch. I was alcohol’s bitch. I was, I was money’s bitch. Everything. And the moral, if you’re not in the driving seat of all those things, then it’s going to fucking bitch with you. Like you won’t believe.
00:44:38:03 – 00:44:49:16
Elliott Wald
Oh, I got a few more questions somewhere. Oh, yes. Here it is. Okay. Looking back on your journey, what advice would you give to your your younger self during the toughest moments of your addiction and personal struggles?
00:44:49:18 – 00:45:10:06
Ollie Ollerton
First of all, any change is an inside job. You know, like I said before, we’re addicted to believe or programed to believe that everything is external. We can change that. We can change our, you know, we can move from here to there. It’s all going to change. You’re on a honeymoon period for a couple of weeks, and then before you know it, the old trolley, the trolley full of, you old emotion, emotional baggage comes around the corner.
00:45:10:09 – 00:45:30:10
Ollie Ollerton
I really think one thing is like that I talk about a lot is when I went for Special Forces selection, I. Everyone talks about belief, right? as long as you got belief, I don’t believe you need belief. You know, I think a lot of times when you’re feeling weak and very, lacking self-worth, you’re not going to have belief.
00:45:30:12 – 00:45:52:13
Ollie Ollerton
Having faith. I believe faith is not okay. Is belief impossibility like belief in self? You can grow into that. You know what I mean? for me, it’s like just because you don’t believe you can do it doesn’t mean you can’t take action towards it. And you grow. We grow as we move forward with momentum, because at the end of the day, you can’t think yourself out of a thought that’s totally negative.
00:45:52:14 – 00:45:53:04
Elliott Wald
No, of course you can’t.
00:45:53:04 – 00:46:13:09
Ollie Ollerton
You know, it’s action has you have to complement it with action. So so and really for me it’s like just understanding that, you know, we can change. We can be whoever we want to be and, you know, to believe that we are a, you know, you know, we are genetic victims. It’s an absolute bullshit. Yeah. You know what I mean?
00:46:13:09 – 00:46:18:10
Ollie Ollerton
We can change our environment. We can do whatever we need to do. We can be who we want to be. Just by this.
00:46:18:12 – 00:46:30:23
Elliott Wald
On my post this morning, you may have noticed I put, oh, I can’t wait to speak to Olive because I want to talk to him about willpower. So before we go, I definitely wanna bring this up because I get a lot of comments ago. You can do with your alcohol, you can do with your coat. You can just all you need is willpower.
00:46:30:24 – 00:46:46:14
Elliott Wald
Now, I have this concept, right? I kind of think I’ve trained for 39 years in the gym. In the gym, like I’m a shadow of myself, but I still go, and I still do mercados to do my training. I still enjoy it, you know, five days a week. That’s my thing. And people say to me, oh, how do you manage to go for the gym for so many years?
00:46:46:14 – 00:47:02:15
Elliott Wald
How do you do that consistently? You must have a lot of willpower. And I go, no, I enjoy it. And I think this thing is people say, oh, you must need willpower to stop this. You must need willpower to do that. And I kind of go, no, I don’t think it requires willpower. It requires you perceiving it to be difficult.
00:47:02:15 – 00:47:16:01
Elliott Wald
That’s what you think is willpower. Now, someone who’s been through selection, I’ve been in Special forces. I mean, your willpower to be in those situations that you’ve been in over those years is incredibly tough. Yeah, alcohol still can take control of you. So what do you think about that concept?
00:47:16:01 – 00:47:34:26
Ollie Ollerton
But yeah, for me, willpower is willpower is exactly like a muscle. Okay? It it it gets tired, you know what I mean? So I don’t care if you’re a special soldier, you’re an astronaut. Gold medalist. it’s the same in motivation. You don’t have consistent levels of motivation. You don’t have consistent levels of willpower because it is a muscle and it gets tired.
00:47:35:02 – 00:47:51:22
Ollie Ollerton
You know, it comes and it goes. And that, for me, is why one thing that I took away, you know, a lot of the stuff I can’t take away from the military and using my everyday life. But the one main thing is discipline. Yeah, that discipline is one thing that switches off the emotion that’s up here and says, regardless of what’s going on on my own in my head, I’m going to walk downstairs.
00:47:51:22 – 00:48:06:22
Ollie Ollerton
I’m going to put those trainers on. I’m going to walk outside that door. I’m going to take the first step into that room every day. You’re right. And it’s for me, you know, when people talk about, oh, I just didn’t have the motivation. It’s like motivation is like a clarity. You know, it’s like a lot of people will go to the gym and they walk around.
00:48:06:22 – 00:48:20:15
Ollie Ollerton
They don’t even know, really know what they’re doing. The next day they go, I can’t be bothered. I’ve got the motivation. It’s because they haven’t got the clarity. And that really is you’ve got to plan, you’ve got to get the knowledge. You got to understand. Like even like me. Now people think, oh, you’ve got this. Destroy strong willpower and everything.
00:48:20:21 – 00:48:33:07
Ollie Ollerton
I need a plan to go into the gym and I go through an app, you know, which tells me you will go there, you will do that, you will do that. And that keeps me on track. Regardless of what’s going on. I go, you are doing that regardless of what your head’s done. Yeah.
00:48:33:10 – 00:48:35:09
Elliott Wald
Tell me a little bit about breakpoint. Yeah.
00:48:35:12 – 00:48:58:17
Ollie Ollerton
Well, breakpoint is my baby, I came back. I mean, it’s quite a monumental story because I came back to the UK 2014, 2015 after ten years away. And I had this dream and that was to start this business called breakpoint, and that was really through. I’d just come back from, Southeast Asia, where I was rescuing kids from child prostitution, slavery, the most monumental thing I’d done to that point.
00:48:58:20 – 00:48:59:15
Elliott Wald
Oh, gosh.
00:48:59:17 – 00:49:21:09
Ollie Ollerton
Thank you very much. Thank you. And this was really laying the DNA to so that helping these kids and then me going through my own battles, I was like, those two things created this, this, this DNA. And that was about I want to I want to help other people first do that. And I knew I’d help myself. And the power of that change I wanted to share with everyone.
00:49:21:11 – 00:49:42:00
Ollie Ollerton
So that became breakpoint. Breakpoint is a globally identified brand recognized for the positive growth and development of others, and really, it’s just getting people to understand the power that we hold within. You know, at the end of the day, everyone’s outside looking for the magic. The magic is in here. And the more we can understand that and start to empower ourselves from the inside out, we will affect that change.
00:49:42:02 – 00:49:57:18
Ollie Ollerton
Again. Breakpoint is a disruptive change in habitual behavior in line with the previous predetermined goal. So it’s about having that goal understanding you’re going to go through the discomfort. But as long as we keep momentum with a clear view and clarity we get there.
00:49:57:18 – 00:50:12:22
Elliott Wald
I think a lot of people who who do advocacy and do work and help people in mental health and addictions who have been through it themselves, I think it’s I think quite powerful about that and hope now that you’re sharing your story, you know, it’s not about it’s not about sitting there going, you know who? You shouldn’t do this.
00:50:12:22 – 00:50:26:21
Elliott Wald
You shouldn’t do that. I’m like, listen, do what the fuck you like. But if you want some help, yeah, well, you want to, you want to shape up and you want to change things. Then you got to look around. You got to surround yourself with the right people, the right podcast, the right, you know, groups. You go to the right whatever it is for you, you got to find the right way for you.
00:50:26:23 – 00:50:42:11
Ollie Ollerton
Yeah, absolutely. And I think as well, it’s like you’ve got to get addicted to growth because it’s so powerful, isn’t it? First of all, I mean, with we’re supposed to feel good about helping our fellow human, you know, I mean, it’s innate within is to feel empowered by that. That’s why I saw the power of that when I was helping those kids in Thailand.
00:50:42:13 – 00:50:59:21
Ollie Ollerton
I was at the front end of changing the destiny of these kids lives. And that was so powerful for me that when you can do something, when you can, and pretty much everyone can, when they look at their you look at your job, whatever job you do, and instead of thinking, I’m just doing this to pay the bills, I’m just doing it because I’ve got to pay for x, y, z.
00:50:59:23 – 00:51:18:03
Ollie Ollerton
Think of how you’re helping another human, you know, take some time out and just that reframing can give you a fresh sense of, yeah, definitely a real empowerment for what you’re doing. But really, for me, like, I could not live each day now without listening to listening to my podcast, without my training, without just being on this constant journey to to evolve.
00:51:18:03 – 00:51:26:16
Ollie Ollerton
And I’ll listen. I’ll never know all there is to know. No, there will you learn? We’re always at school. And that to me, gives me such a sense of purpose and drive.
00:51:26:18 – 00:51:42:03
Elliott Wald
There’s a question I ask all of my guests that I finish with, and I always say to all the listeners, people listening to this, and I hope there are millions of you. It’s a will be will listeners is someone who’s struggling with addiction, whether it be alcohol, whether it be cocaine. What advice would you give to them in one sentence?
00:51:42:03 – 00:51:43:18
Elliott Wald
What advice would you give someone listening?
00:51:43:20 – 00:52:02:26
Ollie Ollerton
Someone listening is to first just understand that there is a way out of your situation regardless where you are. We have choices and it’s when you start to understand that, believe in those choices and if you haven’t got belief, just take action towards something different. Embrace that discomfort of change and we can be exactly who we want to be.
00:52:02:29 – 00:52:05:01
Elliott Wald
Perfect. Ollie, I really appreciate it. Thanks for coming.
00:52:05:04 – 00:52:06:09
Ollie Ollerton
It’s been a power session.
00:52:06:09 – 00:52:08:28
Elliott Wald
There you go. Thank you. Thank you mate. Thank you.